Does the I-Sense ever disappear for good? I recently attended a Vedanta retreat with James Swartz and during the retreat, the I-sense dissappeared and there was only awareness, and right now the energy is on top of my head. The watcher has gone and I feel like a hollow being. Empty but who reacts to the world.
I asked James about it after my experience and he said that the I-Sense is what they call Jivatman in Vedanta. It is the bridge between the Subtle Body and the Self. At some point, the perspective shifts and you see the world as awareness. There is no I-Sense anymore. He calls the energy on top of my head the crown chakra.
Is this consistent with your experience? I asked my former teacher, Anadi/Aziz Kristoff and he says that this state of nothingness is not the end. One needs to connect to the Being.
I would be interested in hearing your perspective. Attached is a picture of me and James after the retreat.
As you can see, all teachers have slightly different experiences and terminologies.
No matter how desperately you seek understanding from others, their answers will only cause confusion because your mind is comparing and reconciling their various answers, based on your own experience and understanding. Any certainty arising from understanding concepts will disappear in days or weeks as new experiences arise and new teachings heard.
Don't you see, your mind is creating a problem, "What is truth, what does it mean?" But the self has no such problem.
Forget trying to understand self and just realize it by further attending to the Self yourself. Then, in a shorter time, you will know it directly and be able to teach others.
The answers you recieved from those two sources are purely conceptual and will not help at all. For example, what does it mean that "you have to connect with being" as opposed to realizing nothingness? What connects with what, and what is the experience like and how do you obtain it?
Yes, the I Am will always be available, for it is love and you need it in order not to go dry. You use the love for the I Am to fill the emptiness and attract the Self to show itself to you. This is my "bullshit" answer that will mean nothing to you until you have this experience, and you may never have this experience. You may have an entirely different experience.
On Tue, Jul 31, 2012 at 8:13 PM, Vivek <email@example.com> wrote: