December 10 Satsang

Consciousness is a Harsh Mistress

(With Video and Transcript Below)

I want to talk about the terms “real” and “unreal” and “does not exist.” What did Robert and Ramana mean when they said you do not exist and the world is not real? Does it mean nothing exists? Does it mean things exist, but are impermanent, which is the Buddhist view.

Robert explained that everything in the world, including our bodies and minds, were appearances only, they had no solid and real existence apart from our minds. On top of that, our minds are not real; they are just a collection of thoughts without a thinker.

That is, there is consciousness, upon which our minds create names and forms, objects, and the internal and external worlds.

We discover that the world is unreal when we discover, through self-inquiry, that we are unreal. Since we are unreal, all other people and the entire world is unreal.

It is explained further in the Sutras that when one perceives the real Self, the world is unreal. But as long as one perceives the world as real, one does not find the Self. So, it’s like a Gestalt thing; you either see one way or the other way. It’s your identification whether you identify with consciousness, or you identify with an imaginary subject located within the body.

But I’ll try to get into that experience a little more because this word seems to cause so many problems because people don’t have the experience of the unreality of the world. Therefore, their minds spin, and spin, and spin, and spin, creating all kinds of psychological and moral problems about an unreal world and an unreal person, whether you can commit suicide, or whether you can commit murder, and whether you should do anything, and why do I teach if the world is unreal. Let me try to clarify the term a little bit.

One day I was taking a shower. I was feeling the water hitting my head and back. For the 10,000th time I looked inside myself with my inner eye, and saw for the 10,000th time an internal emptiness, the void which inter-penetrated all thoughts, all objects, my body and the world.

For the first time in 10,000 times, something happened. I saw that there was no internal entity, no inner "Eddie," who was the center, or witness, or thinker, or controller. That is, the word "I" did not point to anything. All that there was everywhere was emptiness, and I was that.

I was nothing. I was emptiness, not a thing at all.

I saw that everything in the world and everything in my mind was just a concept. The mind took some impression or other, and formed it into an object within the structure of an apparent human being looking out through apparent eyes, onto an apparent external world. Everything was idea. Without the mental thinking apparatus, all that existed was consciousness whose basic nature was presence, and emptiness or the void. Thought created names and forms.

My identity with my body totally disappeared. I saw that my body was really a concept, an inner image that brought together my visual experience of my body as seen from eyes located in my sentient, meatball head, with the tactile sensations I had of my body, touching against the environment, combined with inner feelings of pain or movement. The mind combined all of these disparate sensations and constructed a composite entity—my body, which only existed in my mind, but not in my inner experience of that body or the world.

This experience is what my emptiness “guided meditations” are supposed to teach. There is no body in one’s experience without an inner, imaginary image to create the body form. Without that image, you experience yourself as emptiness with spots of existence spread over space – a tactile sensation here, another tactile sensation there . . . hearing some words . . . seeing your toes . . . and these are all combined together into a sense of “you” as a body. And then you identify with that for the rest of your life. And therefore you fear when the body dies because you feel “you” die.

The body, as a mind-created entity, was no longer my identification. Instead, I now identified with everything, but mostly the emptiness, the Void, within which everything was only an idea. I was no longer the body, but space itself. The center of my beingness was no longer on the body, but was the space that pervaded everything.

When I looked at any apparent object, immediately, the thought that created that image came into my awareness also, and I could see how that thought created every specific object.[1] None of those objects were real. They were appearances in nothingness created by ideas. Moreover, the ideas were not my ideas, but universal ideas shared by everyone. We all lived in the same world of shared objects created by shared ideas, yet the ideas had enough shaded meaning that no two people can ever be certain they are talking about the same experiences.

However, I was none of this. I was nothing. I did not exist. I was only an idea and had no existence except as an idea. I was not real, but therefore, nothing was real except the totality of consciousness, manifest as space populated by objects created by thought. Later, I was to discover even that totality of consciousness was not real.

At Mt. Baldy, I think within six weeks of intense meditation effort, many students were able to totally dissolve their “self,” the sense of existence, the sense of being a person and identify with the totality of consciousness which is a very different experience. It’s a kind of samadhi. I don’t know what the name of that specific samadhi is for, but it recurs over and over again. You begin to wonder which is the real reality. The real reality is either with thought or without thought. It is up to you and your chaoice of identification. And it’s not a simple stopping of the mind. It’s got to be much deeper and much more intense than temporary stopping the thoughts. The mind has to drop down into the body, into the lower part of the body so that the energy gets out of the head and gets lower and lower. And when that happens, the barrier between you and the world disappears and you become one with everything in the world, but the things in the world no longer have name and form. And other than that, I can’t describe the state. You’ll have to experience it.

When the mind disappears, one becomes everything, all consciousness, without the forms or names, ever-flowing and electrically bright! The world becomes very intense. However, even then, later on we realize that this flowing consciousness itself is not real. It is only a concept and is impermanent.

This is what Ramana and Robert meant when they said the world is not real.

One can experience direct seeing of “reality,” thingness, without the intermediary of the mind, through intense meditation on nothingness. When the mind disappears, one becomes everything, all consciousness, without forms or names, ever flowing, and electrically bright. However, later we realize even this flowing consciousness is itself not real. It is only concept and it is impermanent.

Now for the main theme of this talk.

Robert began his spiritual journey after witnessing his aunt killing and beheading a chicken. He could not believe anyone could do such a thing and went into a deep depression for a long time. Then one day the answer came to him as a sudden insight, a mini awakening, and a cop out to be sure, but it laid the foundation for his awakening three years later.

He came to the conclusion that the world was not real. It could not be real, otherwise so much horror would be impossible to bear.

Robert’s constant message was to leave the world alone and not get involved in it. Over and over again he'd say that there have been gurus and reformers since the beginning of history, yet the world really has not changed much or become a better place to live. He used to call the world we live in the lowest of hells.

65 years ago World War II had just killed 50 million people worldwide in just six years. 2000 years ago, during the entire 600 year history of the Roman Empire, the Romans may have killed maybe 1 million people or less. Thus, the human race had progressed during 2000 years to the place where we killed people in wars 5000 times faster than the Romans. This is progress?

Just read the history of the last 50 years and we see endless wars, endless poverty, endless death by disease, and endless efforts at ethnic cleansing where whole ethnic groups try to annihilate other ethnic groups for one reason or another.

Then there are the earthquakes and tsunamis. Seven years ago an earthquake and tsunami killed a quarter of a million people in a few hours. Every few years and earthquake kills thousands of people in Italy, Armenia or China. Death is everywhere.

Every year in the United States, 10 billion farm animals are slaughtered to feed a few hundred million people. That's billion animals, not million. These would be chickens, cows, turkeys, pigs, etc., not to mention the death toll amongst sea creatures such as fish and whales. This progress?

In our own country, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and all social welfare programs are under attack by Republicans who want all wealth to remain in the hands of a few who fight tooth and nail to prevent the rich from paying an additional 5% in income tax. Greed and increasing corruption are overtaking this country like it has all over the world, such as in Russia and more recently revealed in India.

Consciousness is excessively good at killing things, everything that moves, lives, or breathes. And before consciousness kills us, it makes us suffer. This was Robert's point of view, and also the view of Ramana who urged followers to leave the problem of the world’s suffering to God to take care of, because it was his creation.

There was a recognition here that the individual can do little or nothing to ease suffering in the world. This is a kind of cultural fatalism of the Hindus and to a lesser extent of Chinese and other Asian cultures.

We must realize that consciousness has no intention to go the way we would like it to, towards a world of peace, love, integrity, and decreased suffering. In many ways the world appears to be going backwards, towards increasing violence and death.

So many new agers are of the opinion that we are on an upward spiral of consciousness, and awakening is happening all over the place, and soon we will be living in a golden age. But there is no evidence for any such evolution. I see absolutely no general progress towards a golden age.

Here is my view. The people that attend these Satsangs are exquisitely sensitive to suffering. They have felt it in their life, and they have seen it all around them for all of their lives. They want suffering to end but feel powerless to end suffering.

Then they read the teachings of Robert and Ramana, who say leave the world alone, attend only to your own inner experience, as the world is unreal, as are you, and the suffering is unreal also. In these words they find relief. Turning within is a relief from suffering because you find that sense of presence inside of you which is blissful and happy. You also find that all the concepts that people use are ultimately empty and have no meaning. This is a kind of salvation, because you become more free from concepts, such as the American dream or a desire for great wealth or other security, realizing these are just imposed dreams, the fulfillment of which really do not change things much, and certainly do not yield much happiness.

Instead of finding happiness without, either by acquiring things as part of some dream, we become happier, finding peace, rest and happiness in our own inner sense of presence.

Still, even after we see through all the lies, corruption, and misguided efforts of mankind and want no part of it, we still secretly suffer because of the suffering around us, and we feel helpless to make it end. We don't know how.

Robert, despite constantly urging Satsang goers to leave the world alone, to withdraw from the world, would always encourage me when I was reaching out to make some change in the world, either rescuing animals, or taking on deluded and corrupt politicians in Santa Monica. He would even mention at Satsang that it was good that someone was doing something. As Mary Skene said about this to me, "Ed, Robert saw in you that you had the intelligence and power to actually change things, and he encouraged you to do that."

She was right. Robert’s general teaching to leave the world alone was directed to those who were overcome with suffering, anger, fear and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. He said turn away from this world and go into yourself, go deeply into yourself and find peace and happiness. Leave the world alone, let the power that knows the way take care of it. That was his message for those overwhelmed by suffering. He gave them a path of peacefulness and relative happiness.

But what I took out of Robert's encouragement of my efforts to make positive changes, at the same time telling everyone else to ignore the world and only turn within to escape suffering, was that once you come to a place within yourself were you are no longer overwhelmed by the vastness of the suffering and pain of the world, but have acquired some peacefulness, happiness and most of all, self confidence and courage, then you should look around yourself, evaluate yourself and your abilities, and make a decision as to what small things you could do to improve your immediate world.

          For me, I saw the suffering of animals, and vowed to make a difference in this arena, not only in the life of the animals that live with me, but animals throughout the city. That's when I founded a blog in Los Angeles that explored animal issues within the city, and found out what governments were doing about animal sheltering, and advanced an effort to move all shelters towards being no kill shelters.

I also addressed the plight of the 1 to 2,000,000 homeless cats in the streets of Los Angeles. Even this limited venue is too large for one person to make much difference, but I try, and I have had some success in making the city a more humane and loving place towards animals.

For you, after you turn within, inquire into yourself, into the depths of your psyche and inner world, and find some peace, understanding, and most of all, self-confidence and power, I urge you to continue to take note of the suffering in the world around you, and make a decision, in your own small way, to relieve that suffering however you can.

In his small book, self-knowledge and self-realization, Nisargadatta states that upon awakening, the Sage becomes an embodiment of a sense of justice, of the right versus wrong, and also develops the power to do something about it. Why this is, I don’t know and he does not say. It just happens this way.

Rajeev after awakening is now finding his own mission in the world involving homeless and poor children in India. Many of you already have a well-defined personal mission of somehow improving the world. You have a vision, you have intelligence, have power, and I urge you to go do it.

Like I've said many times, not everyone is slated to awaken in this life, and in the grand perspective, including that of your life, there may be things more important than self awakening, and that is to share your compassion with the world. Make this a better place to live for all sentient beings before they are slaughtered by consciousness.

In a sense, I think of us here as being shepherds for all sentient beings. We take on the mission of taming consciousness from her current way of being a Harsh Mistress. You might say we are the vanguard of a movement of conscience and compassion within the tumult of a suffering consciousness.

There have always been people who are driven by a sense of compassion and love for all others, and have strived to help all sentient beings. They have seen their efforts sometimes accomplish very little, yet it is their acts that inspire all of us to do more.

I once had one mentor, a woman named Wilma, who loved cats.

Wilma was disabled, and had emphysema which was gradually crushing the life out of her. But she was always by her phone answering questions put to her by various rescuers and clients of the veterinarian she worked for, about how to take care of cats and dogs. Wilma was one of the most knowledgeable and caring persons that I ever knew. She lived alone in a studio apartment with 14 rescued cats, always worried that the landlord would find out how many she had, as she was allowed only three by her lease. She would adopt out perhaps a dozen cats a year, maybe more, and never had less than 12 cats in her apartment.

One time, the city of Santa Monica was after me because I was feeding a colony of 13 cats in a very wealthy area of the city, and had been doing so for several years, but some new neighbors moving into these mansions after the 1994 earthquake had damaged them, objected to me feeding cats near their property, stating the cats were pooping on their lawns, etc.

The city was after me. They sent a detective to harass and lie to me. They had animal control give the neighbors traps to trap the cats, after which they would have been taken to the city’s animal shelter and been destroyed because they were feral.

And I fought them. I arrived at five in the morning to feed them very generously, and then again at night after the neighbors had gone to sleep. The cats were so well fed none of them went into traps, and none were caught. The neighbors complained to the city that I was feeding them too much food, and the cats were not going into the traps.

Some of the neighbors even had friends bring dogs and release them near where I fed the cats to chase them right in front of me. The detective was even telling neighbors that animal control was going to come in with dart guns, to capture the cats and kill them.

This was all done to intimidate me into stopping feeding so that the neighbors could trap and have the cats killed. Such was the mentality in Santa Monica, and such as the mentality in most places in United States.

This is where Wilma stepped in. She began organizing a campaign to stop the city from hounding me and the cats. She called her friends, who were rescuers, each of whom ran a rescue group and each of whom had a mailing list. Each of them called their friends, and together they all called City Hall, the city manager and the city attorney, telling them to leave me and the poor cats alone.

The first day the city manager received over 300 phone calls telling them to leave me and the cats alone. Over the next two or three days they received another 400 to 500 calls.

The city manager at that point threatened in a very sinister manner, that I had better use my time trapping the cats and getting them out of the city as opposed to mobilizing a public effort to get the city to leave the cats alone. They ordered me to get the cats out of town or they would capture and kill them.

To make a long story short, because of Wilma’s efforts, the city finally gave in and stopped harassing me and the cats. They were overwhelmed by 1000 phone calls from all over the United States and the world during a one-week period of time telling them to stop harassing me and the cats. The city attorney even sent me a letter stating that feeding the cats was not illegal and that they would not be coming after me. All this was due to Wilma, a 74-year-old, gravely ill woman, living alone in a room with 14 cats and a telephone, and who had hundreds of friends who also loved animals.

Wilma died a few years later, virtually unknown as the saint she was except to a few hundred rescuers and a few hundred clients of that veterinarian where she worked part-time as a receptionist, before emphysema made her totally housebound.

Wilma taught me the power of publicity and having lots of friends with a common interest, and in this case, a love for animals, and anger towards a system that favored the wealthy and their desires, over the lives of 13 homeless and beautiful sentient beings.

In the end, many of those little kitties found homes, several with me, some died in the streets. Such was the suffering I saw, and I continue to see every day. Even given the vastness of the suffering I continue to see, I do my small part to help with the lives of a few hundred cats every day in every way that I can, and help those people who help cats.

One person asked me once, Ed, why do you put so much importance on animals when you realize that the world is not real?

My answer is, do you stop going to movies even though you realize they are not real? Your apparent body is going to live another 30-40 years or so, so what do you do? Nothing? Stop eating and allow yourself to starve to death, or do you participate? Ramana and Robert mostly chose to withdraw, but to withdraw or participate is up to you.

In the same vein, the more you are aware of your inner sense of presence, the happier you become, and the more compassionate you become, which frees energy and confidence, which allow you to actually to do something in the world.

Combine that with the growing sense of justice that Nisargadatta talked about, and many who are realized feel an obligation to engage in the world.

The unreal world exists totally within that sense of presence, and that sense of presence is itself filled with love and is love. It is almost automatic that a person immersed in that sense of presence acts compassionately and with love in all actions.

We can all regard ourselves as part of a movement of conscience within consciousness that has always been there, and whose focus has been to reduce suffering everywhere.

In fact, ending suffering was the single goal of classical Buddhism. One of four vows says, "Sentient beings are numberless, I vow to save them all.” The act of saving is an act of supreme happiness. You are saving your beloved, and in that saving you find more love.

You are my spiritual family, and I wish you all very well. I love you all, and hope you find some peace and well-being in your life through spiritual practices. Then, when you feel ready, look inside your heart to find out who you are, and then look outside to find how that movement of conscience and compassion within the greater envelope of consciousness as a whole, is directing you to serve as a shepherd for all sentient beings.

Some of you gratefully have already defined your mission as working with me. Joanne and Alan in building a Satsang family. Others by building websites for Robert's teachings or my teachings. Others transcribe these talks, while still others compose music for Satsang. Others propose making a movie that would bring Robert’s teachings to all people as a transmission of compassion. Others want to help me help cats. Others make donations to the animal work and to Satsang. Such is how that movement of conscience and compassion is acting in its own way to tame that Harsh Mistress of consciousness.

May we as a family continue to grow in this “togetherness effort” to bring more love, light, and compassion to the world. The world, consciousness, needs us.

We are a small movement that in some way is contributing to making the world an easier place to live in for all beings, for all time. May the world remember that there was a spark of compassion that was lit here, by Ramana, passing through Robert, through me, and to all of you.

One of the most beautiful chants in the world is Jyota Se Jyota. It was composed for Muktananda, but is very fitting for us, now.

It goes like this:  

Kindle my heart’s flame with Thy flame.

Sadguru, kindle my heart’s flame with Thine.

May Thy Light banish darkness forever.

Sadguru kindle my heart’s flame with Thine.

O Lord of yoga, Lord of all wisdom!

O Lord within all, O Lord above all!

Kindle my heart’s flame with Thine.

---

[1] I’ll tell you something else. When you’re in that kind of concentration state, you can actually see thoughts. They have a form. I don’t know if any of you have “floaters” in your eyes because you’re nearsighted. They’re little internal “clouds” that obscure sometimes your vision and they float around. Well, thoughts have an appearance like that when you’re in an intense concentration state. You can find a specific thought, approach that thought, and suddenly when you get close enough, the thought disappears and you find yourself looking at the object. It’s a very unusual experience, not one you want to do all the time. It’s just something you should know about, and you could try to do it when you’re in deep concentration.

MORE FROM INFINITY'S ATTORNEY:

Mr. Muzika:

It has come to my attention that your website itisnotreal.com still contains a large amount of material (39 pages to be exact) covered by the copyrights I mentioned in my last letter.  A list of these pages is enclosed.  Let me know if you intend to promptly remove those pages of material as I have advised my client that the next step would be to file a lawsuit for copyright infringement against you.

Regards,

K H

http://itisnotreal.com/gpage6.html

cosmic joke mp3 Audio File

http://picasaweb.google.com/edwardmuzika/ThereIsNoSufferingThereIsNoDeath?authke

y=Gv1sRgCJGjg4vg1_PE3gE#

posted on Picasa by E Muzika there is no suffering there is no death

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage15.html

Before I Am

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage16.html

Consciousness is Everything

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage17.html

You have got to have heart

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage18.html

The Four Principles

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage19.html

Removed

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage20.html

Removed

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage32.html

Doing Nothing

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage34.html

Satsang with Robert Adams

Abide in the Self

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage35.html

To Practice, or not to Practice,

that is the question

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage36.html

Turning Away from the World

Towards the Self

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage37.html

It’s All About Stillness

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage27.html

You Only Believe You Are Trapped by the World

http://itisnotreal.com/subpage40.html

We are ALL Sentience

Our Newest addition from the streets of LA.

We are both Void and presence--beingness or sentience.

And all sentience loves itself in its many forms 
against a background of Nothing.

December 2 Satsang:

The self-inquiry method.

This talk is going to be about method.


The path of Jnana Marga is all about practice. Sometimes I use the term meditation, but I really mean various forms of self inquiry, which is a sub category of the legion of forms that introspection can take. It would be impossible for me to cover all of this material in a dozen talks, because the number of internal objects are countless, and the number of introspective paths are also endless.


Therefore, I always recommend reading several books, including the path of Shri Ramana part one, by Sadhu Om, chapters 7 and 8, hunting the I, downloadable from the itisnotreal website, steps to hunting the I, by Rajiv, and most importantly, the Nisargadatta Gita by Pradeep Apte, available from Lulu.com either as a download or as a soft cover book.


I know many of you want to write me endlessly about your internal states and whether they are the correct states are not, or whether you are going astray. Let me say this once and for all, the journey you are about to undertake is likely to take many years of self-examination and introspection. You have been lost in the illusion for decades and it can take decades to escape the illusion.


You will experience hundreds and thousands of different states, internal objects and other kinds of experiences, including kundalini awakenings, periods where nothing happens, various forms of emptiness and voids, various forms that the sense of presence, or beingness can take, including identification with the body, and bodyless identifications, thoughts, including the I am thought, possibly psychic powers, flooding love, periods where you intensely believe you fully understand everything, and all other kinds of delusional states.


You are exploring, for some of you, a new world. For some of you it will be filled with sound and fury, and others it'll be sort of bland and weak. It is totally based on who you are, and from where you are starting.


Now, while there are general similarities of experiences between multiple people on the same or similar paths, most of these experiences are not worth mentioning, they are not signs that something significant is happening, nor are they worth interpreting. Don’t be a glutton for new experiences or wonder what they mean. Such is merely the mind’s interference which slows down and stops any progress.


Many people are naturally introspective. That is, they can turn their attention from being outward, to inward.  That is, in the imagination, to look inside the body and mind. When they look inside, they see many things. Some may see lights. Some may see images. Other see colors. Others find the void, some find a dark void, other a self-illumined void. Others can move their attention easily around inside their body from toe to the top of the head. For these people, self-inquiry will be relatively easy. But also be aware that you are not really looking with one’s physical eyes into that inner space. That inner space is purely a mental creation, but since EVERYTHING is a mental creation, the experience is still valuable as a learning arena.


I want you to note that the major duality overcome with this approach, is the destruction of the inside the body versus outside the body dichotomy. With awakening, one is primarily aware of a continuum of consciousness that destroys the inner versus outer distinction and you identify with the oneness of consciousness as opposed to identifying with the body.


Others look inside and see nothing. They can't turn their attention towards the internal imaginal space. This is because they haven't practiced, or because thinking and analysis are too dominant in their personality. People that think too much often have a hard time introspecting, because the thinking is always about externals, and thinking creates the externals.


Ramana had one technique of self-inquiry which is always recommended for people who think too much, or who were not able to introspect. He requested they ask themselves the question, "Who am I?" That is, whenever a situation came up, such as taking a shower, or walking the dog, one would stop the chattering mind, turn the attention around, and ask, "Who am I?," Or something more appropriate to the situation at hand, such as, "Who is taking a shower?," or, "Who is feeling the water touching my body?" That is, whatever the situation, you stop a moment, and ask who is involved? Who is feeling the sensations?


This is the most basic form of self inquiry. The word "who" puts the mind in a reflexive state, and the word "I" denotes an entity, and also the division between inner and outer, subject and object, and I and thou. That is, the word "I" sets up a duality that we call life, with an amness, that lives inside of the body, while the external world is on the other side of the skin. One then learns how to follow that I-thought direction of attention inwards, into the inner darkness which gradually over the weeks, months or years becomes a bright, self-illumined emptiness, or void, which becomes an infinite internal space which joins with the infinite external space, and becomes the one continuum that contains everything.


However, the key word more than any other for Nisargadatta, would be "am." The "Am-ness," is what Nisargadatta also calls "beingness,” and others call "a sense of presence, or existence." It is looking into this sense of presence, or beingness, that is the major part of Nisargadatta’s method as set forward in the Nisargadatta Gita.


Even following the Gita’s method, one finds great complexities. Because as one looks within that sense of presence, one also finds an all pervading emptiness, or lack of presence, or void, which is actually coextensive with the sense of presence.


That is the primary Void state is like a total vacuum, existence without any sense of presence, a complete emptiness, a completely in-human existence, with no thought, no I am, no God, completely without warmth. This is one of the fundamental states that one encounters, and after the original fear of the state goes, becomes the greatest, all-encompassing silence, with complete rest and peace.


On the other hand, the sense of presence, or beingness, lies over this fundamental void state at every point. They pervade each other. The sense of presence is our humanity, our love, our creation, our existence, our creativity. This is our humanness. This is the ultimate state of love that the bhaktis seek, yet this is also the state that disappears upon awakening. Then although there is left is a vast emptiness, a vast silence, a vast peace that pervades everything.


Therefore, you can see that there are two kinds oneness. There is the oneness of the all pervading sense of presence, with warmth and light. And there is the oneness of the Great Void, the ultimate silence, a great peace, totally inhuman, and beyond humanhood, love and warmth. This cool vacuum is self illumined space, and an infinite continuum of light.
And ultimately, neither are you who observe these phenomena.


These are some of the experiences you may have if you continue your practice assiduously, with persistence and dedication.


Another variant of self-inquiry, is to look for the ‘I thought’ itself.


We use the word "I" all day long. But what is the form of that term "I?" That is, does the word "I" have a form itself? Does the word "I" actually point to an internal entity known as Ed, Alan, or Nathan, or Andrea, or Joanne? That is, is there an entity or witness inside our imaginary space contained within our bodies, that the I-word points to? And does that I thought itself have a form? What is the relationship between the I thought, and the concept we have of ourselves?


In this exercise we turn our attention inwards, hopefully having already opened our internal imaginal space,  exposing its vastness, and we look both for the I thought, and the entity that the I thought would be pointing towards which we take as "me."


As you can see, self-inquiry can become quite complex due to the complexity of the inner imaginal space, and the various experiences we have there, including the sense of the void, the sense of presence, the sense of duality of inner and outer, becoming witnesses of thoughts, searching for where the I thought arises or passes away in an attempt to find "me," and then to find the sense of me.


Ramana wrote a short book on this practice, called "Who am I?" Robert talks about this simplified method all the time in many Satsang transcripts.


When we become more sophisticated, instead of actively searching within, such as for the source from where the I thought arises and sets, or actively probing around inside to discover things, we read about other variants of the self-inquiry method such as found in the Nisargadatta Gita, or the path of Shri Ramana, part one. Here, the active form of probing self inquiry, becomes replaced by the concept of just abiding in or resting in one’s self.


This is a game changer. Rather than be an active pursuer of knowledge, one quiets down and settles into one's sense of presence, usually of the sense of am-ness. One becomes quiet and passively watching. I hate to use the term watching, because it still sounds like an activity. In fact, it is doing nothing and just being consciously aware of that sense of beingness inside.


If you read autobiography of a jnani, Rajiv became quite fond of just relaxing into the background container of consciousness. One just rests in oneself, usually seen as a dark background one sinks into. However, by this time one is also aware of the void, the great self illumined space that contains everything, but lacks a sense of presence, and is cold and is utter peace. On the other hand, the sense of presence is filled with warmth and love, and one constantly bounces back and forth between these two kinds of awareness, presence and Void.


I have to make a disclaimer here. Not everyone has these experiences, nor should they have these experiences. These are common experiences too many who've attained liberation. These are not liberation itself, but experiences in the foothills of awakening. Yet others have a radical kind of awakening that has nothing to do with these kinds of experiences, and I don't want to burden your mind with too many concepts as as to what you will see, because you will be looking for them, and your mind will create these experiences, even creating false voids, and false senses of presence.


The mind is your enemy in this whole process. The mind has an amazing ability to become so self involved, ved with concepts and words, as to absolutely prevent any spiritual experience. The mind all too often rules us with its constant chattering, thinking, comparing, checking, speculating and general screwing around. The mind is absolutely the wrong instrument to use to go beyond the world, because the mind is what creates the world. Therefore the more you use the mind, the less you can escape from the world. Introspection is looking within, and at first is active, as is the mind, in the inner search, but then that search should slow down and become a beingness or resting-ness, or abidance in one's deepest levels of experience.


A lot depends on one's personality also. If one lacks self-confidence, one will always use the mind like a blind person with a white and red cane, constantly tapping out the path ahead of him to see what pitfalls or objects are in the way. The mind of the insecure person is constantly checking his own experience and comparing that with the experience of others found in books, talking to people in Satsang, or asking the teacher whether this is an appropriate or correct experience or not.


Let me be very clear. What you experience in self-inquiry, is your experience. Don't interpret it. Don't ask if it is a correct or incorrect experience. Don't check it against books. Don't check it against other people's experience. Don't speculate as to what it means. Don't interpret what each experience means. All that you are doing by this thinking is immeasurably slowing down the process of internal spiritual evolution by constantly stopping and checking that experience against what books have to offer, or the teacher has to offer.


You have to have the attitude of being a brave pioneer, willing to sacrifice your life, literally, for the truth, and in this case, that is the truth of your own beingness and life. You're not trying to re-create Ramana’s enlightenment, or Robert’s, or mine. Instead, you're trying to find your own truth, your own enlightenment, your own awakening which may have nothing in common with other peoples awakening. That is, you are unique. You are a mystery. But when you read books, when you speculate as to what your experience means, or compare your experience to others, you are putting on other people's clothes, and not wearing your own.


This is very important. Must learn to be brave in the face of possibly terrifying internal experiences. Nothing inside can hurt you, but you don't know that. You may believe you're going mad, you may believe that your emotions are out-of-control, you may believe all kinds of things, the important thing is to just keep going. The more you can rest in yourself, in that sense of presence, the easier everything becomes, the quieter everything becomes, and the happier you become.


I didn't know this when I practiced. When I practiced, I followed the books’ instructions, which was to totally abandon myself into the practice of "who am I?" I had many, many dreaded kundalini experiences, many visions, much dwelling in the void, much confusion, and yet a steadfast, straight courage to continue on, on my own. Unfortunately, I went to Mount Baldy, and the Zen master there sent me on a new Zen course of answering hundreds of koans, which is a Zen way of passing on traditional knowledge, rather than fresh knowledge of the self. It took me 18 years to get back on course again. Therefore I urge you that once you start self inquiry, you persist until you burn out, or until you succeed in awakening. In a previous Satsang I told you even if you don't go all the way, the consolation prize is becoming a saint because of the experience of refined senses of presence, and the increasing absence of the self.


One thing you will never find looking within is the so-called ego. There is no such thing, no such observable entity. It is a concept only. Sometimes the ego is defined as just a thought. Sometimes it is defined as the I thought. But nowhere will you find a human subject or soul.


In fact though, one does have a personality, which is a very complex thing that determines who you are as a human being and how you interreact with others in the environment. Some are bold. Some are meek. Some are extroverts. Some are introverts. Some are thinkers, while others are feelers. Some are educated, some are not educated. Some have good parents and some bad. Some have rich environments, and some poor environments.
All of these help determine who you are as a human being, which is mostly what people mean by the word "ego." You can never find an entity such as this ego. The whole developmental process is extremely complex and there are many internal objects and centers which are best examined in psychoanalysis to find the full measure of your personality or "ego." The introspection process of psychotherapy is very different from the introspection process of self-inquiry. You can’t “heal” emotional problems with self-inquiry. Self-inquiry by-passes ego deficits and emotional pain altogether.


This is the great mistake of the neo-advaitins. Some of them believe that because they look inside and can't find an entity, they are free, immortal, existing forever, unbound consciousness. However, the kind of introspection used in self-inquiry, is not the same sort of introspection as found in psychotherapy or psychoanalysis. In psychotherapy or psychoanalysis we investigate emotions, memories, our behaviors and dreams. In self-inquiry we investigate different kinds of structures, such as the sense of presence or existence, and the void. Therefore, the neo-Advaitins have a very simplistic understanding of consciousness, the self, the ego and I, because they have used the wrong method of self exploration, and using the wrong method and finding no ego, the assume they are beyond human-hood in a huge illogical jump to a conclusion that doesn't follow from their experience.

By now, some of you may be totally overwhelmed by the perceived complexity of the process of self inquiry. And yes, the inner world is nearly infinite in terms of the experiences it offers, especially if one has a complex mind that is constantly creating states, false images and false experiences, and is constantly checking one's experience every minute.


However, we have Pradeep Apte to thank for writing the Nisargadatta Gita, which is an exquisite meditation manual that focuses on maintaining one's focus on one's internal sense of presence, the sense of beingness, as opposed to asking the “who am I” question. It focuses on constantly feeling and looking at an abiding in the sense of presence—beingness. 


That's it. Just watch that sense of beingness. It will constantly change. It has many forms. Just stay with it. The I-thought, and I concept are contained in it. One just has to watch the sense of beingness, and everything will be gradually revealed. The more intently you devote yourself to the method, the more quickly one will have results. This one method can take you all of the way. However you have to realize that this is only one of many methods of self-inquiry.


All methods of self-inquiry though have one element in common, you turn your attention around and instead of looking outward into the world, you look inwards towards your inner, imaginal self and explore all the nooks and crannies of that inner subjective experience, eventually finding your ground of being, the subject around which everything, everything, everything rotates. Both inner and outer experience rotate around the non-changing center of your awareness, which is not the sense of me, which is not I, which is not presence, and is not the void. That ground state, that fundamental state, is the subject, is you, and is you who observes presence, the void, and the external world.


Now, if instead of looking for the I-thought, or the sense of presence, we “feel” the sense of I, that I feeling will point towards the subject, the core I experience. However, it is very hard to hold onto the I sense. It changes constantly until one is very subtle and focused in concentration.


It is to this fundamental self that all states of beingness an experiences, come and go. The waking state comes and goes to you, and you are not touched by anything in the waking state. It is one kind of dream, a cloud of consciousness that comes to you but does not touch you.


The same with dreams. Dreams are like clouds of a different kind of consciousness that comes to you, but do not touch you. The same with deep sleep. Deep sleep has a heavy darkness comes in, floats over you and envelops you, and then leaves a few hours later. Deep sleep state is experienced by you. You become aware increasingly of this core or ground experience, resting deeper and deeper in yourself, until you watch all states come and go, and finally accept that unchanging core as the real you.


The void is not you. The presence is not you. The mind is not you. The body is not you. The lights and illumined consciousness are not you either. You are that it is in the center to which all of these things are observed, but none of which touch you. This is your true being, not the sense of presence or absence, void, or not void. Rather, the real you is that to which all of these experiences come, and is beyond life-and-death, existence and nonexistence. Some refer to this fundamental state as That, or the witness, or the absolute, but the names don't matter. The real matter is to be able to locate and rest in this fundamental state, the stateless state beyond states.


As you can see, this is not an endeavor that most people wrap up over weekend. People came to Ramana and to Robert for many, many years without gaining acquisition of that fundamental state and apprehending it as one's true being. This self inquiry is generally long journey, but it does not have to be. Some people acquire it in a fairly short period of time. Others like me, are crude and stupid, and it took forever. Unfortunately, for me,  because it took me so long, I learned so much about the process and can pass that on to you.

Jimmy, the homeless cat feeder, will be back in business in a few days. I gave him my bicycle--almost brand new--and he'll start feeding Saturday evening. Unfortunately, we don't know yet how many cats need to be fed, because he has been away so long, we are not sure how many are left at the feeding stations I did not take over. Thanks to a new donor, myself and Jason Ahmed, another friend of Jimmy's, he'll receive some pay to take care of the cats. Once he gets going and I can trust he is reliable, that will cut in half the number of cats I need to take care of at night.  More later.

Dear Master Edji,

I just wanted to let you know that I am still using your great mp3 file several times daily as a support to my discovery of the inner world.

It has really amazing results and is well adapted to the fact that I can't cross my legs to seat.

Sometime nothing surprising happens, but it always put me in a different state, more relax and definitely far from daily problems.

Of course my environment is not the best to listen to your file, because often there is quite a noise in the background from the ocean that is just 60 feet from my palm leaves hut on the beach, but now I know already a bit about what it is question of, and I can focus on going deeper inside, even when I can't hear your voice.

I have seen so many things during this last 2 weeks using your file, more than in my all previous life.

I do as you said, I don't take care of the wonderful lights, images and samadhis and effects, but concentrate on seeking my Self.

I saw and went to the Source, the sphere of intense light, like a thousand suns, as I read later in Robert's book "Silence of the Heart".

What is happening to me is unbelievable, and I ask for more of your Grace to go deeper and dissolve my ego.

I accept to become an nonpersonal body, being "just" the Absolute shinning through it.

I understand that it may take much longer to reach Freedom, but I am ready to be patient and persevering.

I recommend everyone to take a chance to progress by trusting you Master Edji.

You have brought to the world what wasn't available until now, a free guidance to the Real, and by using such a simple and easy method, that every body should be able to practice it.

Please forgive us our mistakes and keep encouraging us to join You.

Peace and Love,

D.

This will be my last summarizing post on this issue, as some commentors have requested more information, unless there is further threatened legal action by Infinity. I would only wish that they wanted to work together, as opposed to threatening to sue anyone who posts a picture, talk or even personal experience of Robert. They have compressed Robert into one website offering a few CDs and a few books, which poorly portray the vastness of Robert's teachings.


I want to note that Nicole claims to have been at Robert's side for over 43 years. She/Infinity claim there are "30 year students," such as Blake Warner and Robert's daughter who are the only "true" or authentic teachers of Robert's tradition. Yet, reading over 3,000 pages of transcripts, or listening to over 240 audio talks, one will never hear Robert mentioning his wife, Nicole, nor Blake Warner or Prem Devi, not even once. However, Ed, or Ed Muzika is mentioned all the time in transcripts that transcribed the entirety of the Santsang, rather than just Robert's talks. Thererfore, Infinity, Blake Warner, Nicole Adams, and Devi Prem have a severe credibility ptoblem regarding their allegations of being Robert's inner spiritual group all during this period. This would extend to their copyright claims. They just did not exist then. They were not around Satsang or Robert's teachings at all, and their post-1997 copyright claims are therefore suspect also. 

Robert Adams and I, circa 1993

In fact, the Yoga Journal 1998 article, written in 1997, as well as the Inner Directions (1995) and Mountain Path article (1993) made clear that Robert stated he wandered India off and on for 17 years. No mention is made anywhere or Nicole's presence on these journeys. Yet she claims never to have been separate from Robert. They also verify that Robert was living alone in Oregon when he first developed Parkinson's symptoms.


Nor are Warner, Nicole, Prem Devi, mentioned in the introductions or acknowledgements of the original 1993 "Silence of the Heart," nor in the 1994  "There is no suffering, there is no death." I am mentioned in both of these books as a transcriber and helping to put these books together. I wrote the introduction for both books. I also wrote in early 1997, the January/February 1998 Yoga Journal article, "The Mysterious Sage of Sedona," about Robert's teachings including a short bio. I also helped Ganeshan put together an article by Ganeshan, for the Mountain Path, published in June, 1993.I also transcribed the talk, "The Ultimate Happiness," published in the "Inner Directions Journal" in the Fall of 1995. The editor, Mr. Greenblatt, notes Ed Muzika, a student of Robert Adams, compiled the talk and wrote the introduction (Page 5, Fall, 1993). I am mentioned in at least 70% of the actual Satsang audio tapes, as I recorded most of them on my own audio equipment, and transcribed a dozen or so later. In each Satsang, I read from the Ashtavakra Gita, and also made announcements as M.C. I also played the Satsang sacred music. Robert constantly referred to me on these tapes as Ed. He led the Satsang in singing happy birthday to me on March 10, 1991. In addition, Nicole acknowledged the "utterly amazing" accuracy of my understanding of Robert, and gave me verbal permission to publish Robert's bio.


Yet, Nicole and Warner claimed I was hardly ever at Satsang, only his 30 year students and Nicole. But, they are nowhere mentioned in any work or tape recording that came out in the 1990s. Nor are there any photos or Robert on the Infinity website, nor of Nicole, either at Satsang with Robert or elsewhere. Yet they claim they were there and sell these talks stating Robert and Infinity copyrighted these talks and even the tapes. They have no proof that any of them were there at Satsang engaged in producing any of these spiritual works during the period 1990-1995. They have no proof because they were not there.


Nicole/Infinity/Warner want exclusive claim to copyrights for two reasons, in my opinion: money and to create a bogus lineage of 30 year students.

I have taken down many items from the website this weekend and posted other things in their places, such as all the publications about Robert published before Infinity made their first copyright claim. These would provide substantial support for the veracity of Matthew Brown's screen play, where Nicole plays very small role in Robert's life.

Infinity Institute through their attorney, demanded I remove the Collected Works of Robert Adams and all transcripts from the website: http://itisnotreal.com. They made many incredible allegations, which I rebutted. Click on the various links to Robert's info, and it will display excerpts of the letter sent to me as well as my rebuttal. They even wanted me to remove my personal photos of Robert and my wife taken at Satsang, and of Robert and I taken at satsang, alleging the photos were Nicole Adam's personal property.

This is an amazing allegation, as the letter simultaneousl claimed we were complete strangers and had never met. Therefore, how could I have gotten her private photos of Robert with my wife and I, as well as other photos sent to me by Robert's former students?

Lastly, the letter claimed I made an illegal recording of a conversation with Nicole Adams, when, in fact, Nicole called me and voluntarily left me a recorded message on my answering machine. That is, she knew her message was recorded. In that message she told me that a bio I wrote about Robert was "utterly amazing," and that I should publish it. The attorney alleges this was an invasion of privacy.

Infinity/Nicole is merely trying to protect their brand, "Robert Adams," and I understand that. But the allegations of harassment, invasion of privacy, etc., are out of bounds. 

However, for peace of mind, I took down most of what they wanted. No longer are free downloads of all of Robert's transcripts or talks available. Too bad, Robert was such a giant and Nicole/Infinity/Blake Warner have shrunk him to one very tiny website.

Wow! Our second international Satsang is now posted at wearesentience.org.


It is fantastic except for the fat guy talking. Great graphics and flute music intro. The visuals are stunning.


Great work Jo-Ann and all others who have contributed to making Satsang happen.

Dearest Edji,

Sitting here still  saturated in tonight's satsang. It totally blew the doors off my ideas, those matters I thought I had all figured out. I doubted the potential of an online meeting or that I could relate to a group presence. Blammo!!! Everything you addressed this evening felt as though my thoughts were being read out loud. The questions I had for you this evening vanished, totally inconsequential. Never claimed anyone as my teacher. No person I've encountered or been introduced to could ever penetrate the Gate Keeper, my ego -- Yeah, it's that BIG! And no way could my pride ever allow me to call anyone "my Guru." Then, Lakshmi climbed into your lap. 

I believe I am losing my mind.

Much of "who" I believed I was has either been taken away, lost or damaged in the last few years. Surely, further changes, particularly concerning matters I've been resisting and very fearful are yet to come. It wouldn't be truthful to claim that I'm totally at ease. Yet, there is this unexplainable ability to find moments of peace. There are unexpected outbursts of joy, just little gushes of happiness experienced for no reason found. Then the sadness comes; but it doesn't stick around for too long.

Months ago, I was drawn to the writing/recordings of Robert Adams after a book review read a year ago first got my attention. After that, it seemed like I would see a references to him everywhere I turned. I ordered CDs and books through Infinity. (Not to be mean-spirited: It's a miracle the propaganda that accompanied that transaction with Infinity, along with subsequent correspondence with "Prem Devi" didn't turn me away from wanting to know more about Jnana Marga. As I began listening to recordings of Robert, I was hit with something totally unexpected. For the last 6 months, every night -- without fail -- as I go to sleep, Robert's voice speaks through a series of 6 CDs. I took my time reading  "Silence of the Heart," and honestly admitted I dearly want(ed) what he pointed to.  When you say he truly was not of this world -- that speaks to me. That much I get. Though I sense he possessed genuine humility, I have few illusions of really knowing Robert, and I  doubt he offered a gentle ride into Self Realization.  One thing I KNEW from the first of his talks -- this guy was the real deal. 

And anyone who had the courage to venture the path of a true Jnani, or come anywhere near where Robert spoke from, had to want it more than ego. I sense there are very few folks who really got what Robert was about . . . but you did, Edji. I trust you loved him deeply. 

Tonight, sitting in satsang, all my preconceived ideas of what this would be like were wiped out, along with all my very stupid questions. I didn't attend the first satsang due to a panic attack.  When I contacted Jo-Ann to forfeit my registration, I couldn't even explain to her what had occurred; I felt ashamed. Something shifted again. I was transcribing some video and hearing your teaching over and over. Listening to Robert every night, making a formalized sitting schedule (upon Rajiv's suggestion), and throughout the day observing --- seeing if I can see who is "seeing."Again words fail me. The paradox is that I've always enjoyed finding just the right words to convey ideas, and I'm continually coming up with NOTHING. 

My ego has never bowed down or would admit to sappy praises for another human being. In some way, my ego was held at bay, allowing me to bask in a feeling of profound love during satsang. As I looked at each face in those teeny-tiny Webex windows, I felt an indescribable caring for each person present.  I recognized something in "YOU" I wasn't ready or willing to observe before tonight's meeting - a LOVE unlike anything I've experienced. It didn't even feel like a thought or a person-to-person sentiment -- more of a consciousness, however labeled -- the next best word: truth  . . . without a doubt. As I looked upon Rajiv this evening, I felt another wave of LOVE, overwhelming gratitude for his patience and assistance with meditation techniques.

I don't know that I'm brave. I do know I am exactly where I am intended to be.

My love and respect to you, dear Edji.

J.

Great Master Edji,

How wonderful and wide is my smile when I realize that I felt Myself !
The unconditional Love !

Now I want more of it, to share it with the other beings !

I can't cross my legs to sit down due to an injury after forcing
myself to the lotus position. I was willing to "sign in" for Kryia
Yoga initiation a few months back, and by the Divine intervention this
injury made me renonce it :) and now I am 100% available to follow
YOU.

Of course I can't detail all the divine events that brought me to day,
but I feel them, I love them. "Ask and you shall be answered", that
resumes all.

As you said I won't go in the details about the several experiences,
vision, feelings, beingnesses that I went through in the last few days
each time I practice your method !
It is just uncredible ! fantastic ! amazing !

I want to cry because the gift you made us is so huge, so pure, so
powerfull that there is no words to express it.

Just listening to your audio file, following your instructions,
letting your voice guide me, brings me each time to new happenings
that I couldn't dream of before !

I was expecting a long road with hard daily practices to reach the
wonderland, but now I just have to lay down on a couch and follow the
simple instructions of The Greatest Master ever come on this earth.

Edji you have transcended the modern world and offered humankind the
shorter and most agreable shortcut to the Truth !

How powerful and deep is your voice, how straight forward your
guidance that I can't think about anything anywhere having such high
value. Give me 1 billion dollars and I will reject it to keep your
guidance.

Thank you so much for your work, your honesty, your purity and sharing.

Of course I might add that it might be a longer way for others, but as
for me it is the best I could dream of dear Master Edji.
I wish everyone to feel in love with you and to open their heart to
your knowledge. It will bring them There !

May this illusion appears as it is for me and for everyone as soon as possible.
I think I have tasted of Consciousness, I felt who I was, and I wish
to make it a stronger and permanent beingness to feel ever happy and
joyful in every circumstances.

So far it takes me 2 or 3 listening in a raw to see and feel all sort
of effects.

I just got a very good hotel room in front of the sea, and I hope it
will be quiet enough to go in trance as often as I want.

I think I could write the all day about what happened to me in just a
few days following your Gifted teaching, but I understand that I
shouldn't intellectualize it much, and just keep silent and PRACTICE.

A billion thanks to you Edward Muzika.


D.

Take a look at this. These are my people:


http://www.dogwork.com/kddk2b/