04 September 2019


I Love ya Edji,  thanks for getting back to me.    
I feel like I am somehow connected to the Void..as it comes in and out during the day reminding me of who I am.    Even driving the car the energy just rolls up through this body.

Ya know words just do not convey what is happening. You said it all in your last Satsang.

I want to tell you it will never go to my head, I'll never be better or higher than anyone including an insect.

I feel this and all the experiences I have had don't place me above anything rather I feel more humble and caring for all beings...spiders, bees, ants, birds...all of them. ..people too!
We are all sharing the same path and for all i know the local hummingbird  could be a very advanced being.

Humility and gratitude are two of the main ingredients of this whole process.  I learned gratitude in AA...it is so important.

Early this morning an Intense Love just exploded in my Heart, and it was ED MUZIKA,  hey it was you Edji, and I wanted to write a message to you at that time but it was so intense that I just couldn't get my tablet out to write. I couldn't move.

My Love to and for you was beyond any limits I ever experienced. My God it fluctuated between total bliss and pain.   

Pain? ...it felt so intense I thought my Heart would burst into Fire right in bed.

I thought about the hundreds of answers and thoughts you emailed back to me over the last 6 years and all the time you took to help me get over the humps, the time you said 'don't do it' when that Vietnam ptsd came back so strong that I wanted to off myself.

You never let me down but were always, always there for me the same way you are always there for the Sangha and anyone on the Path.

You are the ONLY reason I AM...here today. 
You pointed the way.

You put me here today and I am most sincerely grateful and I Love You so much that it burns. 

Back in 2013 when you and Deeya taught a weekend in Los Angeles for our group, it lit a fire in me that just grew and grew.  

It was really strange after our first class/gathering I walked back to my hotel....but I didn't walk I danced and danced all the way back, twisting and turning and singing in total bliss and it stayed that way. 

That energy from you two just lit the insides of me up.

Today I was at the local library, we live in a very small town, quiet and peaceful, well I walked outside among the very old trees and buildings and the air just breathed me in. 
It breathed God into me and my head just floated with such beauty and bliss right in front and all around. 

Times like this are really welcome in the Mundane world.

I don't know what I am talking about but somehow I want to express this beauty, maybe by writing or poetry.

I know how Rumi and St. Teresa of Avila felt. Oh companions of this wondrous Earth.

Edji,  I don't know what is happening tomorrow but with this 'happening' I will always be with you and with the bliss and full of Love.
At times that Love just permeates everything.

I hope to get some land in the country some day...lets see what happens.

My Heart to You,  steve

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