02 September 2019



You are so adept at giving the right bread crumb, at the right time, to the right person, to lead them where they must go.

The crumbs are not wisdom, they are certainly bullshit. But they are a soothing or startling truth for just so long as they are needed.

I had been an enemy to myself, not allowing for things to be, or to unfold naturally. I would not take any advice, because I did not - I could not trust anyone, and everything that everyone said was bullshit. This was my truth.

But then You gave me Your Love - your trust in me. And it gave me power. When I gave my heart back to You, that was the moment that I gave You the power to change my heart, my mind, my life - my truth.
I gave You the power of a Guru over their devotee, or a Beloved over their lover.

I surrendered to the great trust of Your hands.

This is the power that Love holds.

This is the responsibility that being Loved demands.

I am blessed too. That You hold my heart so carefully, and kindly.

The crumbs that you leave don't lead to truth, and are not truth themselves. You leave an endless trail. I craved your next crumb, your next juicy secret to spiritual wholesomeness, your validation of my advancement on the crumb trail.. I still revel in your recognition, the recognition of a loved one. But I don't know what your validation means anymore. You could lay a new crumb, and tell me I'm enlightened and give me the highest praises that I once dreamed of, but they would not mean anything. I would still be this. I would still love You. You could lay an experimental crumb, and tell me that I am a failure, a quitter, a useless, mundane, non-spiritual, selfish scumbag with a black heart who will never help anyone. But it would not mean anything. I would still be this. I would still love You.

You gave me a new, useful truth when mine wasn't working for me. Then you gave me a new truth when that one got old. But all the while you said, none of these are real truths - unless you take them to be so, unless you need them right now.

By giving You my heart, a portal opened, where I could enter your world, and my world was left behind.
I took the truths that I needed, when I needed them.

Now what are they?

I don't know, but they seem to work as medicine.

Medicine for a sick mind.

Using the brains own inherent gullibility against it.

If we can be so easily convinced that we are sad, that we are lost, that we are not good enough, poor, ugly, a failure, just by random unsubstantiated information - then with the right truth, at the right time, infused with the power of a loved one, we can be convinced of much nicer absurdities, ones that save us from the depths of despair and darkness in our souls, until we may at last lose interest in following this endless trail of crumbs. And open to all possible truths, in all possible situations, at all possible times. What is the most useful truth to empower with Love in this moment, with this person? What is the most prominent one?

True Love can make anything true.

This is the power that I gave to You.

I thank You immensely, for leaving this trail of Love crumbs. To save me from myself, and to exhaust me very quickly.

I don't crave the crumbs anymore.

There is no secret. I don't know them, and they don't know me.

Only Love.

This is the power You gave to me.

This I will keep forever.

I empower others by giving them this Love.

They entrust and empower me by giving me this Love.

There is no greater gift for me.

Even truth bows down to Love.

This is my favourite medicine to take, and to give.

This is why Satsang, and the Sangha is so beloved to me.

We empower each other with Love.

We heal each other with it's medicine.

We entrust our hearts in each others hands.

And we hold each others hearts ever so carefully, as if holding a treasure as precious and exquisite as a newborn babe.

I would not trade this bond for any crumb of truth, no matter how much evidence was stacked against it.

This I know.


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