21 September 2018

WHAT IS THIS? I DON'T KNOW.

My brain is heavy and dense. No thoughts arise.  My attention is deep into my entire body which is experienced as dark, dense energy slowly moving within.  Without, are swirling energies in and around the room.  

With eyes closed all of this is me. Tremendous energies and power, all superimposed on the spatial emptiness of the Void, which simultaneously contains the energies, but also does not touch the energies because it lies in a different dimension.

Without thought, no things exist.  There are just ever-changing forms with no labels.

Within and without, forms and energies are ever changing so fast that thought cannot grasp them. Yet I just did use words to describe them. A paradox. It is human nature to want to communicate experience, but communicating these kinds of experiences to people in the mundane world would gain me the label of nut-job.

The energies and bliss too change; sometimes light and breezy, sometimes dense and powerful.  The bliss too changes.  Sometimes just their power gives one sort of ecstasy, while a day later a lighter energetic field is overwhelmed by feelings of grateful love centered in my chest but radiating everywhere.

These are my days, reverently feeling lost in the flow of life and the feelings generated and superimposed over my basic beingness which has no knowledge. There is no known, or knowing, therefore there is no knower either.  It never occurs to me to separate the three.  The mind is silent.


The words ’world’, ‘self’, ‘real’, ‘unreal’, ‘body’ have no meaning for me, and like an Eskimo who allegedly has a dozen words for different kinds of snow, I see a legion of different energy fields and movements but everyday language has no words for my experience.

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