Friday and Saturday I only felt relief at Bodhi's death; relief that he was no longer struggling to breath. Bodhi had been going downhill for the last year, but that accelerated during the past three months, and swiftly accelerated the last two days.
It is very difficult being with a dying friend you love so much, and constantly feel for.
And he has been a constant presence in our lives for 19 years, and now he is here no more. Despite all the other cats being here, to me the house feels empty, and I seek Bodhi's always accepting presence of silent strength.
Today I feel an almost crushing grief.