Sri Edji, Just a follow-up from yesterday. Something big has changed in how I regard my time in the military.
These 'flashbacks' have been so real especially when the original feelings restate themselves and its probably because I now allow all the feelings and emotions to penetrate this body and mind.
So for some reason now I can tell a more positive story from a different perspective because of being in the military as I had now experienced an extremely wide range of experiences, feelings and emotions that my family and friends never would. And they wouldn't understand either.My exposure ranged from very good happy times with soldier buddies as close as brothers and the bad times as disregarding the sanctity of life itself.
I hadn't fully realized that living in a hell of a war zone would provide a wide range of benefits and new abilities until now with a maturity of deeper insights into the World, its people and simple daily activities. I could never have attained such a wide range of experiences and education without being a member of the U.S. Army.The alternative of participation in University life or just going into work place would not have provided anything close to the 2 years employed by Uncle Sam.
Coming home from Vietnam I walked in the door , , and feeling strangely sat in the living room with my family but it seemed that we had little to say or talk about so in about 10 minutes everyone except my little brother had left to 'do their thing'. Tom and I had always been close so we talked while everyone else just disappeared into their world. At the time I really felt lost and alone, except for my brother being there, but now many years later I could see that my family and people in general dislike leaving their 'comfort zone' and most people did not want to hear of my expanded experiences....and would leave the room but that is not my loss. I was the one who had grown. I do not feel the need for their understanding.
I can and back then--could see the limitations the world, society and people place on themselves. Where I had lost many of the belief systems taught by schools and churches a new set of values took its place. An appreciation over many years for life and sentient beings started to settle in. Hunting animals, fishing and eating meat all stopped. Money and status has little meaning. The falseness of the World started showing itself.
All this crap just led to a deeper search for meaning. What was this existence about? So I read and read and studied and practiced without really getting anywhere probably because it usually involved looking to the outside.
Fast forward....A Guru, Sri Edji called me, recognized my plight and pointed the way and gave me the needed guidance to begin...to begin the True Journey back Home. So my life today is evermore expanding into other dimensions sometimes even beyond all logic and reasoning, wonders beyond belief and again I don't expect others to understand.
Peace and bliss are now mine...