I am undergoing a major change in perspective. As I feel the connection growing backwards towards "ME" nothing ahead of me seem fascinating as before or holding my attention.
Actually ever since the background ME took more prominence, I do not feel the need to witness my thoughts, my body or even consciousness (oneness).BECAUSE IT DOES NOT MATTER WHETHER THEY EXIST OR NOT. All these are now viewed as ONE consciousness body, thoughts, emotions, Iamness, beingness or oneness).
Attention is drawn at the back now and to the consciousness as a whole.And that consciousness as a whole keeps changing from appearing to non-appearing.
So witnessing of thoughts or body or emotions or oneness as seperate from Consciousness is no more there. It is all ONE part of Unity Consciousness which appears and disappears. Consciousness is taking forms as Rajiv,joy,sadness,thoughts,body and even beingness.Infact everything perceivable now is Consciousness and nothing of it MATTERS anymore.
Individually they do not warrant my attention now.They may or not exist.I simply let them do whatever form onsciousness wants to be in.I may choose to even not witness them because how does it matter.
I can not communicate in words Master all this feeling.There is tremendous inward silence and happiness and everything at the consciousness level is noise.I infact get a voice within which is contrary to what the Masters or books in the past has said about Witnessing every thought or about being aware. My feeling says IGNORE all this. Do not even BE. You are not even a "Being".
Till yesterday evening I was in a major depression. There were millions of conflicting thoughts and varied emotions. Doubts filled my mind and fear had suddenly taken control of my being. All I told myself is that all this will pass. This is not ME. There was tremendous darkness and I was engulfed in tremendous grief and sadness.
Today morning has been very different. I feel I have woken up to a new reality. Perhaps there is no witnesser even because witnessing is missing many times and no Being. There is only happiness and peace. Anything else even if they exist or not exist DO NOT matter.
Yes, yes, yes! Consciousness itself is trivial, coming and going, changing, unreal--and One, but the One is not real. When it goes there is complete happiness.
I am so happy that you have come so far so soon!
Don't lose this place you are. Stabilize and grow there.
The not-knowing state will continue to reveal more and more, but in a completely different way than when consciousness was your teacher.
Master nothing was possible without You. I am truly happy Now. The depression was probably necessary last evening. Now there is intense sense of security and a freedom from everything including consciousness.
Thank You Master a zillion times