25 November 2012

Something More Real, Something More True?

I could clothe my self in poetic rhyme or enshrine my self with structureless prose, and in these forms dance merrily and fluidly across the stage of the heart. But these costumes don’t suit me at the moment. I am resolved to dress myself in expository attire, which I find somewhat tiring, as it makes me feel my wings are clipped and I am left to crawl rather than fly.
 So be it…

I have heard my teacher say time and time again to, “Drop all Concepts.” Easier said than done. The very effort to drop the concepts seems to give birth to a new conceptual stance, namely that of, “It’s just a concept,” or the more popular saying, “It’s all bullshit.”

It dawned on me today, while I was sitting in my car, enjoying a grande, Holiday Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks that there were concepts that I was clinging to that were actually creating a lot of division, preference, and resistance within Me.

I had set out on a mission to rid myself of something called the ‘false or smaller sense of self’ for the oh so sought after ‘truer or real sense of self.’

As I sat there I had to admit to myself that I did not really know what a false self or a true self was, outside of what I have read in spiritual literature. I had never really experienced a ‘false self’ or a ‘true self’. I had only differing experiences.

What if there is no ‘false self’ and no ‘true self’? What if there is just the experience that one is having in the moment; whether it be as a gross body, as an emotion, as the void, as spaciousness, as a movement of energy…? Why is there a preference as to what is being identified with? Why are we always trying to get rid of ‘what is’ in hopes for something higher or truer or more real?

What if there were no aspects of our selves that we deemed ‘truer’ or more ‘real’ than others aspects of our selves? What if there are simply just different or varying aspects of our selves without the hierarchical rankings of true/false – higher/lower – real/unreal?

Isn’t it these so called ‘less real, less true’ aspects of ourselves that which we set out to fix, to change, or to get rid of? What if we embraced these along with all that we discover about ourselves and own it all; no aspect lesser or greater than another – just a multi dimensional Being?

Thank you Ed Muzika for your teachings. I am really beginning to understand you.

Lila Sterling, AKA Joan Burtner, 


  1. The you that is called (insert your name) Is YOU. It is YOU (SELF) identified with the concepts, with the body. This identification creates a 'concretized, individualized' sense of Self, but is it is the Self none the less. It is the totality of the Self trapped in identification...and that identification is where you must start from.

    To deny that this is YOU in favor of an intellectual understanding that it is not YOU is to entrap yourself deeper and deeper into a lie.

    This is the danger of Neo Advaita. It denies this you is YOU, and tries to escape it through positive affirmation or simple denial.

    There is only one Self, call it what you wish. The Self by any other name, is still the Self.

    Lila Joan

    1. So true Lila/Joan... You are cutting through the BS with a scalpel! Your words inspire me to stay faithful to the "quest", although I too tire of it at times. Thank you.

  2. Hello Lila/Joan !
    "What if we embraced these along with all that we discover about ourselves ..."
    Yesterday i was going on your facebook page via a friend and i wanted to write you how i liked your last messages about your hard feelings, watching them get up and accompanying them without needing or being submerged . Something is changing in you and it is a great pleasure to read you about that because you share with us very well what you understand about teachings .
    When i read you i am thinking that the guru is perfect when the student also is perfect (listening and practising )
    thank you for your message there !
    much love for you

  3. Conditioning and surroundings. That makes our preferences.
    I would go even further and ask, what if there is no experiencing ? If we look at it more closely, it is merely a concept. Looker is too a concept.
    Easier said than done - a concept. The question is are we ready to let go of it or are we ready to accept that?
    Easy or hard? - a concept, self-pereptuating mechanism.

    This mechanism is perpetuated by all the teachings, no matter what teachings are there.
    What most of us are after is only now, not in the process.
    Freedom is not to be gained by process, freedom happens now regardless of conditioning, concepts, psyche, emotions, whatever...
    Can we realize it? no. Conditioning can not realize that it is free. Conditioning is not freedom. Freedom is that which contains conditioning, concepts, psyche, emotions, whatever...
    can we realize it? read again.