I need a rest. The last two weeks since little Red died have had much drama.
I need to evaluate where to put my energy. I need to evaluate my way of teaching.
Robert taught from beyond this world. He wanted to have nothing to do with it. He taught only to go within and to find the Self, and even to go beyond it, to go beyond consciousness.
None of the other current teachers so prominent or famous on Facebook or with Oprah and elsewhere, talk about going deep into consciousness. They talk about being in awareness only, which is at the level of the gross body and the subtle body, which Siddharameshwar and Nisargadatta described as the two most superficial levels of consciousness.
These current teachers do not talk about going into the causal body of forgetfulness, nor into the void and the various states of emptiness, nor the samadhi of the Turiya state of I Am. They remain entirely on the surface, and therefore are very popular because the concepts are easily understood, and the states they talk about are readily accessible to all, and do not require deep meditation to reach.
Very few students stayed with Robert. I would say only one out of 10 stayed for more than a year, and only one out of 50 stayed for five years. His way was difficult, just ignore the world and dive deep into oneself.
I have been talking to other “real” spiritual teachers around the world, and they say the same thing. Students come to them without dedication to hard work and to making good progress; they come almost as entertainment. They say that the students that come are almost indifferent to them, as opposed to their own experience when they were with teachers, which is of complete dedication and hard work. It is as if current students go to teacher purely for socialization, much as other people go to church on Sundays, to meet other people with similar interests.
I know for myself, my whole life revolved around Robert and doing things for him, like writing promotional material, biographies, contacting magazine editors, keeping in touch with other spiritual teachers networking, transcribing and publishing Roberts works, and helping to run Satsang. Not a day passed that I was not doing something for Robert.
In Los Angeles really there is no one like that, and our international Satsang has people from all of the world, and as such we cannot build a nucleus from which to make something substantial happen. We need a center, an ashram, a nucleus where we can all come together, do strong practice, reach enlightenment, and then come back to the world and teach others. This international Satsang is too watered down, there is not enough focus and momentum.
Also I have to evaluate the material I teach.
Basically the way I’ve been teaching recently, is for those like me who were practicing spirituality for many, many, years, and have practiced meditation for many years, and knew the void and emptiness, and their own sense of presence very well, but then had to relearn your humanity, to become born again to the human “marketplace.”
Unfortunately, most new students are sick of the marketplace, they don’t know how to handle the emotions, the sorrows, the despair of the marketplace, and they go into spirituality to get away from it or to learn how to handle it. But my current teachings have been keeping them in the marketplace and not giving them much rest. I have not focused enough on meditation, getting to know the void, learning to become steady in one’s meditation and mind and sense of presence, so that one can experience emotions in a welcoming and loving fashion.
You see, my teachings are very open and complete. They investigate the entire spectrum of “healing” from dealing with depression, rage, and love as in psychotherapy, to obtaining access to the I am states of Turiya, and even further the absolute. This is too broad of a reach for beginning students. They have to be trained in meditation, steadiness, and feeling a holding hand. But it is hard to hold hands when we are 3000 miles apart, or 10,000. This really only works if we are in the same city or even the same house as an ashram.
Very few know the incredible worth and value of having a number of people living together and working towards a common spiritual effort. Unless one has experienced it, one does not understand the value, and would rather continue leading the life as they know it, without making incredible amount of effort it takes to investigate the entire emotional and subtle body realm as in five years of psychotherapy, then spending years to investigate the subtle body, the I Am and the absolute. People would much rather go to superficial teachers who talk about awareness at the most superficial level and don’t talk about diving deep into deeper levels of consciousness and beyond.
All of this I have to reevaluate now.
Thank you, I love you, and I’ll see you next week.