Lately I have felt moved and been able to sit more still and rest
attention deeper in what has a sense of being. I am feeling more
attraction to sitting and resting attention internally when I am not
sitting but during whatever activity I am engaged in. So I am
cultivating this desire more and dropping excuses. I am working with
different phrasing also to uncover the "I am" sense. I know the mind
wants to complicate matters and even create performance anxiety
relative to practice. I just witness it and let it go. I know that
sincerity and persistence is everything so I am accepting that I need
to trust the process and not try to control or force anything.
Frankly, I am just enjoying being much more quiet and peaceful which
supports the process. I can feel a palpable openness and stillness
inside whenever I turn and keep my attention on the interior state. At
this point I cannot say I have much sensitivity to discern internal
states. Just stillness which does not feel body-based. It feels more
like there is no body. I can still sense the physical body but the
part that feels still and peaceful does not feel associated with the
organism is what I am trying to say.
I bring your photo to mind throughout the day as a source of guidance
and inspiration. Whatever you are able to do on my behalf is a
blessing. Remembering that you care deeply and your desire and
intention to be of service to me moves me to do more each day. That
goes beyond merely a teacher-student arrangement and I cannot fathom
what that may mean for me in the future. Thank you.
I will write again as it seems appropriate.
D.
RESPONSE:
It will get better and better but possibly with dry periods coming that might shake your faith. But for now, it is going well.
Ed
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