You attitude and determination are perfect. Even after just a short time you are feeling increased peace and silence.
Lately I have felt moved and been able to sit more still and rest
attention deeper in what has a sense of being. I am feeling more
attraction to sitting and resting attention internally when I am not
sitting but during whatever activity I am engaged in. So I am
cultivating this desire more and dropping excuses. I am working with
different phrasing also to uncover the "I am" sense. I know the mind
wants to complicate matters and even create performance anxiety
relative to practice. I just witness it and let it go. I know that
sincerity and persistence is everything so I am accepting that I need
to trust the process and not try to control or force anything.
Frankly, I am just enjoying being much more quiet and peaceful which
supports the process. I can feel a palpable openness and stillness
inside whenever I turn and keep my attention on the interior state. At
this point I cannot say I have much sensitivity to discern internal
states. Just stillness which does not feel body-based. It feels more
like there is no body. I can still sense the physical body but the
part that feels still and peaceful does not feel associated with the
organism is what I am trying to say.
I bring your photo to mind throughout the day as a source of guidance
and inspiration. Whatever you are able to do on my behalf is a
blessing. Remembering that you care deeply and your desire and
intention to be of service to me moves me to do more each day. That
goes beyond merely a teacher-student arrangement and I cannot fathom
what that may mean for me in the future. Thank you.
I will write again as it seems appropriate.
It will get better and better but possibly with dry periods coming that might shake your faith. But for now, it is going well.