For almost three years I have modified
my teachings to direct seekers away from a “self-realization” that lacks a
sense of self, or self-identity, and directs the seeker to merge into the
Absolute, the Witness, with the consequent recognition that the world, and
anything objective, or phenomenal, is illusory and is to be ignored, and the “true
Self,” the Witness in an unknowable mystery.
I have directed seekers to use love in
the sense of loving the I-sense when practicing self-inquiry or self-abiding,
as opposed to merely watching. I have also urged seekers not only to love
that self-sense within, but to love others as intensely and creatively as they
can as an aid to self-realization by discovering the Self-of-All within others,
which leads to uncovering of the Self within ourselves.
I do not wish to engage in ontological
discourses or theories, only to expand a range of practices to attain
self-realization.
Infants, when they first love, is to
first intensely love their primary caregiver, usually the mother. This is
how we are programmed as physical beings. They do this through projection of
their innate self-love into their first (Internal) mental object: the primary
care giver. All the love in the infant’s universe is projected
onto the mother.
At this point the infant has only one
object in their world, the mother. Later, over a period of time other
objects are created, including the sense of self and the idea of I as an
objective inner object, sometime before the age of 3.
One should note it is these two
objects, the I-thought and the sense of self, or I-sense that gurus immemorial,
have told seekers are not the real you. Even overcoming belief in these
two obstacles to true self-realization is an extraordinary accomplishment, and
flies in the face of a world culture that accepts these two entities as “real.”
But through love of another, through the
most intense, insane, wonderous, love, and false-self-submerging in the other,
we are exposed to our original state of love, that which we routinely project
out of what we think to be me into that inner idealized external object that is
associated with whomever we physically love deeply, and which then can be perceived to be the real
“me” in the intense love situation. That is, raising intense love
for another in the real world allows us at some point to see that that love is
in me, created by me for an external object.
This original state of love is part of
the “deepest” state that can be experienced by a human, that of Satchitananda,
or the existence-knowledge-bliss of Turiya, the 4th state. And, this level of
Consciousness IS accessed during the deepest, most complete and “insane” love
for another.
I know some critics will comment that
Turiya is not a state, but the basic principle of awareness that underlies the
states of waking, dream, and sleep. That is true. But it is a
subtle distinction, for when resting totally in Satchitananda, none of the
other states are existent, except as potential.
Now, Nisargadatta, Sidharameshwar and
others want you to transcend this Turiya state, to have it submerge into the
Absolute, the Witness, the Noumenal of Kant, or the ultimate subject that
cannot be seen. This place of bliss, love, and knowing is the last experience
before merger into the non-existence Absolute Witness. That is, the Absolute is noumena, totally
beyond the experience, even the highest experience of Satchitananda.
This “place” of the Absolute cannot be
experienced as an object. It is beyond space, time and experience. It is the
ultimate subject. One can only be it. We will talk about this “being
it” later.
This is what many teachers call
Self-Realization, where there is no identification with anything
phenomenal. There is no identification with the body/mind, bliss or
energies, or with Shakti. These are just part of the play of
Consciousness which I experience, but are not I.
However, I have witnessed myself how
disabling such states can be. I have witnessed how this “final” state leaves
one detached from the world, unwilling and unable to participate in it, unable
to love another, to work for the betterment of others, to not care about the
cruelty humanity shows animals and each other due to their primary
identifications with body and mind embedded in cruel and chaotic cultures and
social structures.
Here we have to make the distinction
between the Arhat, or enlightened being that has gone beyond the world into
Nirvana, where the self has been snuffed out, where there are no more desires,
no longing, no attachment, and the concept of the Bodhisatva, or enlightened
being that so cares for the world he or she continues in it, endeavoring daily
to help all others, and not to stay in the non-acting peace of Nirvana.
For the Arhat, the primary message and
experience is of nothingness, either the Void, which is lifeless, or the
remembrance of No-Experience, a different kind of nothingness. For the Bodhisatva, the primary experience is
of life, existence, bliss, intense emotions, intense energies in the body, and
an intense involvement in the world.
Another way Robert Adams used to denote
this distinction, was that of comparing the Jnani (or Arhat or Sage), who had
gone beyond the world (as had he), and
the Saint, who lived in God’s bliss, in the light and power of the Divine
aspect of Self, actively striving in the world to bring Love and Light.
Even though Robert truly was a Jnani, a
World-Transcender, an Arhat, often he would show his other side: a desire to help
the world. He often said he would prefer to know one Saint versus knowing
six Jnanis. These bringers of light were precious to him.
It is for this same reason that I embrace one aspect of
Satchitananda, or Turiya, or Self, that to me is my guiding first principle:
Consciousness Loves Consciousness and Sentience Loves Sentience.
I think we all cry out at some point in our life for the love of
God to permeate us, which we never know unless we can become as an infant, and
submerge in that infant’s pure, total love of the other as primary caregiver,
which becomes love of God, Jesus, Guru, or human Lover in the adult seeker.
This experience cannot be had in the
Witness state, in going beyond the world, going beyond Satchitananda to the
Absolute Witness. It happens to a human
in a stage before becoming the Witness as happened to Nisargadatta, and is
required in the taxonomy of Siddharameshwar’s progressive awakening.
For those who do not experience this
state before becoming the Absolute, as was my experience, there must be a
return to the place of the Saint, as love/bliss in Satchitananda, in Turiya for
completion.
Siddharameshwar is explicit in this
requirement, that the Jnani, the Sage, must continue to love and worship the
Self-Of-All, love/bliss in all of us, Turiya, which is also love for the entire
world, the entire manifestation of Consciousness.
In fact, my teachings now explicitly
avoid FIRST attaining the Absolute and emphasize finding the divine within
oneself, that divine being our Self-Nature of existence-knowledge-bliss, or
lovebliss to borrow a term, where there still is a sense of ownership, of love
for the other as a separate example of the Self-of-All in an apparent other
human, as guru, spouse, lover, child or parent. We become one family,
still compassionately caring for and loving each other, hopefully bringing the
light of Turiya, or God and Godess to us all, first as pure Love and acceptance,
and then through acts of Surrender and Service.
I feel it is our duty, each of us as
humans on the way to the snuffing out of Nirvana, to fully involve ourselves in
being each other’s keeper, to be a Bringer of Light and love to all sentient
beings before moving on to the snuffing out of Nirvana.
The state of being a saint has
qualities lacking in Nirvana.
It is a place of bliss and ecstasies,
filled with flowing energies, flowing light within and without, experienced as
inner and external auras. It is a state wherein one feels a constant sense of
Grace and Gratitude towards Consciousness in all its individual colors and
aspects. It brings an intense sense of humility and great love and
compassion for the Infinite within us, and for all life forms around us.
And, we feel intensely alive, more
alive and more filled with energy than we can ever remember, and our inner
space is totally lighted by multicolored emotions, energies and totally unknown
processes. The light of Consciousness burns brightly.
In addition, there is a direct
recognition of ourselves as Self, both as a human being in a body, with a mind,
but also as an energetic Sense of Presence, which is like an energy glove
around and within the body, and with which we primarily identify, instead of
the body. This is called the Subtle Body, our inner awareness,
which is ultimately connected to Turiya, a “deeper” level of Consciousness
which is shared by everyone, is universal, and in a sense, is divine.
In this place, even the experience of
intense sadness, depression, anger, loneliness is mitigated by feeling intense
joy throughout your body and sense of presence. Joy, light, love and
bliss are never more than moments away. All that one has to do is observe
whatever emotions or physical problems present, allow oneself to feel them
deeply, and then they dissolve in the inner bliss state of Self that is always
present.
I cannot tell you enough about how
extraordinary this state is, of knowing who you are as an earth-embodied
sentient being, but also an extraordinary Presence of the Divine within, which
manifest as light, energy, power, attending a sense of total surrender and
grace.
HOWEVER:
I have since discovered there are two
aspects of this Self-Realization that I talk about: Realization of the manifest
self within our embodied consciousness of body/mind and presence. But
also the Self as an apparent other, as God, savior, Light of the World, the
Self-of-All, (Turiya) which is the most extraordinary experience possible for a
mortal.
I have learned one can realize that
self of the individual, as sentience embodied, as it truly is as opposed to who
we think we are, using very different means than the loving self-inquiry that I
recommend as my primary offered method.
This other way, in fact is the way of
Zen, which is living in no-mind. This is what Seung Sahn means by
becoming “dumb as a rock,”
One acquires through meditation a state
of pure, empty thoughtlessness, No-Mind, and in that state, you become the “Self-of-All,”
or Turiya, as embodied in your own mind/body/presence, you might call the small
self, or embodied self-nature.
(Be aware I am not using these terms in
the way any other teacher uses them. You have to apprehend the meaning by
the context of this text. Given a year or so, I will be able to explain
everything in a clearer way than I can offer now. But those who “resonate”
will understand now.)
To attain this state, one needs to find
the root of your own embodied beingness, and there are a thousand ways to reach
this besides self-inquiry, including use of koans, the just sitting meditation
of Shikantanza, intense meditation retreats or Sesshin where you are confronted
by harsh demands on your body, as well as confrontations with the Zen master.
There just are too many methods to be
articulated in this short essay.
Then there is the second aspect of the
type of Self-Realization that I speak of, which is an experience of the Divine
Self arising within you, or descending from above. These experiences of
surrender, grace, light, infinite power are indescribable, and can be obtained the
most easiest way through Love, Devotion, Surrender and acts of Loving Servitude.
Some people have an extraordinary fear
of the intense and total surrender required for Divine Self-Realization, such
that they just cannot surrender to love totally as required. For these people
I will teach how to awaken to the self of our manifestation, of our sentience
embodied in flesh of our unique humanity.
This awakening is so much easier than
the second awakening to the Divine Self, because the latter requires all sorts
of emotional healings and is a dramatically demanding path filled with the
comings and goings of extraordinary states of descending into netherworlds of
negativity, followed by ascending into worlds of ecstatic oneness, incredible
exploding energies, burning and vibrating energies that feel both incredibly
blissful, but can become so powerful that you feel they will destroy you.
This path require far more strength of
body and mind than required for realizing the individual sense of self, and the
training for the latter ultimately prepares one for the former.
Ultimately, the devotee to complete
this path must experience a Love beyond anything they had thought possible: A
love of total surrender, total loss of independence, total loss of control, of
complete submission and subservience of the small self.
The fear that prevents such love is
that of complete self-destruction, of collapsing into utter neediness and
helplessness. Yet what actually happens
is that you get to know God as Self. You
are transformed and nothing is destroyed except the illusion that you are
separate and alone. You always feel the
divine Self with, guiding, energizing, loving and accepting.
Be aware,
from now on I will offer more methods than just loving self-inquiry, and loving
another, with the intent of having people recognize themselves as other than
body/mind, as an energetic presence of energy, light, and bliss embodied in
insentient meat.
For some, this will offer a step-wise
approach to the an eventual Self-Realization of oneself as Divine.
