I have a real problem with the method of self-inquiry as promulgated by Robert Adams, and often by Ramana, and that is you can get lost; lost in the perceived emptiness of the Subtle Body, or in the comfort of knowing nothing in the Causal Body where there is no self-awareness, only awareness.
Practicing This way, asking "Who and I?" and waiting for an answer, or following the I-thought to where it appears or disappears is much like practicing a Mantra. It is only to empty the mind, and Self-Realization of the Jnana sort can arise from an empty mind alone, it can also arise in other ways.
The problem with following the I-thought is that it arises from one's perceived emptiness and disappears into emptiness. A few years of doing this and you will identify with emptiness and become a shell with no emotions and no motivation for life. This can gradually give way to identification with the witness of emptiness, or the Absolute. You become a pure passenger watching the phenomena of your life pass by. Such is how Nisargadatta described his current state in his last book, "Consciousness and the Absolute."
But I ask, is this what you want? Peace, rest? Or would you rather know yourself as Consciousness and the energy, drive and force of Consciousness, the Shakti?
Would you rather know yourself as love, bliss, and embodied energy acting out thee will of God, or as Nothingness?
Would you rather be an observer or a 100% participant in life?
This is the difference between the Bhakta and the Jnani or Sage.
The way of the Bhakta is filled with sound and fury, divine love followed by deep despair, followed by being wracked first by deep bliss often felt as orgasmic, with a high sexual tension, and then followed by physical pain of a tensed body, unfulfilled desires, and a deep longing for both fulfillment and rest at the same time?
The way of unity with Consciousness is obtained through love and surrender to another, whether God, Guru, Lover or other, whether their path is pure Bhakti, or awakening the Kundalini or Shakti. It is dualistic.
Realizing the Manifest Self--the Life Force permeating our humanity--and the Unmanifest source from which it arises.
Edji - When one is on the path of surrendering to IAm, or bhakti of IAm would there be any choice left on how and where one ends up?
ReplyDeleteAhh Edji, I wouldn't be with you if it were not for this impossible ride into oblivion and understanding. Couldn't really understand how we got connected until I realized that your going to make this life of intensity, conflict, balance, anger, understanding , confusion and love continue as it has all my life. Edji is like a acid rock band melting your mind and like Moya Brennan's voice carrying you into Heaven at the same time. What the hell would I be here for if not to participate 150% so that every bone in my body screams. Timothy Leary would have chosen you as his Guru in a second. Your message is carrying me right to The Wall and we ain't going over or around it but right through it. From the deepest part of my heart and soul I and my wife are so grateful to share this trip with you. I will love you always. steve
ReplyDeleteIs it really a decision or choice we make? Or a predilection that's there from birth, like sexual orientation? I never decided to like girls instead of boys, that's just the way it was. Likewise, to deliberately desire or seek out these high-to-low whipsawing of emotional states just doesn't seem that attractive to me as a way to live my life. I'm not being judgmental toward others who do. It just doesn't equate to happiness or "real" to me personally.
ReplyDeleteAnother metaphor occurs to me: my wife likes a lot of heavy & hot spices on her food, which I find unnecessary and unenjoyable. I appreciate a more subtle blending of flavors, which she finds boring and bland. Is one of us right and the other wrong, or can we both accept that it is the way it is for each of us?
If you have spent 30 years in emptiness, I can almost guarantee you'll opt for a more energetic and engaged attitude after that and vice versa.
DeleteThe manic depressive will opt for mitigation of the highs and lows, and perhaps the hystrionic and depressive persons for emptiness or witness status.
Thank you Ed, that helps to clarify it for me. Maybe it gets back to your example of the 100 room mansion: if one is stuck in a particular room, no matter how interesting it may seem at first, sooner or later you're going to want to avail yourself of what some of the other rooms offer. That real liberation involves the freedom & ability to change, and move from one room to another. One of the first things you said to me was that I had a fixed personality. Maybe I'm starting to see what you meant by that.
DeleteI am diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I have experienced Edji's Second Awakening a week ago. Now it is very clear that I don't actually like it. My awareness is full of ashes and everything has a bitter taste.
DeleteToday I tried to feel better by practicing Buddhist jhana meditation. It was very easy, like walking a marked path. I experienced all eight jhanas effortlessly. It was very pleasurable and the eight jhana especially was a new experience for me. They felt wonderful when I experienced them, but now afterwards I see them as worthless as everything else in my awareness. All is so meaningless and nothing matters!
I have been depressed before, but unfortunately this madness is nothing like that. I feel like I’M NOT HERE and since I’m not here nothing matters, nothing is real and everything is unsatisfactory. God help me!
What about love? The love I am able to feel right now is just as worthless as everything else. Maybe with some divine love it would be a different story, but nothing like that in my awareness.
Of course all my suffering is just as meaningless as everything else, but this isn’t the content I want in my awareness. Problem is that I’m not aware of any content that would satisfy this nothingness. It is like I killed myself and found out that afterlife isn’t at all what I wanted it to be.
M.H.
Since the eight jhanas were so effortless I might as well try to experience the pure land jhanas and nirodha samapatti. I could also experiment with practicing vipassana while being in each jhana.
DeleteM.H.
M.H. routinely has breakthroughs and deep states with deep realizations that pass in a week or two. Steve, don't make too much of other people's experiences, only your own.
DeleteJust love and be.
ReplyDeleteWhat I wrote before was not the comment to your post M.H. All the best for you, I wished, I could help you.
ReplyDelete