Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

Ed,




Much is coming together
So it began with seeing that something is aware of thought
How can I be thought when I am seeing these thoughts??
Really contemplating on that for awhile
Then realizing there was a bigger awareness watching the witness to thought
Hmmm?
So then it seemed that what was watching wanted, was waiting, to be noticed
Like two awarenesses
Ok so now it seemed that this smaller witness was now aware of the bigger witness
It seemed strange that now the attention was now on the big watcher instead of the thoughts of which it was accustomed,
like looking backward at myself instead of outer looking
Like the attention was turned in the complete opposite direction
Then seeing something big
Awareness as big
Encompassing the entire world
So, then noticing that what I am is “consciousness”
That word kept coming, over and over
Then ah ha!
And then yes…I am consciousness
And then aaaahhhhhhh!       aaaahhhhhhhhaaaaaa
So, now unfolding even more
This consciousness is one!
Not two
So then realizing as I am in the store tonight, seeing others, that there is only ONE because….the content of what others are aware of is not an identity
It is one consciousness….with thought forms moving through “others”…only appearing to be separate
And seeing quite oddly, and quite humorously, that there is only one
And so also seeing that I am space…
I am not this body as I am the awareness of it
And seeing that there is no self
As I am formless, seeing this, no self
And also seeing that I am love
That this consciousness sees with a “behold” not just void seeing…seeing with a beholding of all as beloved
All meaning all…such as wall, garbage pail, floor, cat, plant, knob
And seeing others as same self
Same
One.
I am mostly aware that I am consciousness…the “no self” slips in and out…haven’t seen that as permanent reality but saw in a flash insight. 
How can I be anything arises in awareness
So finally
Seeing that there is no meaning to this world, life
Not in a bleak way but that all is just appearing as something out of nothing
Out of one
Out of energy, vibration, one source
Seeing that nothing is happening, no meaning, no purpose
Signs along the road, just words, just appearing with no substance
No life
Wondering if all a dream
Feeling that all is dream, having that texture to it
Will investigate this more
The end for now…
Sandra


Sandra,

Your understanding is excellent. Now just stay there as you already
are doing as often as possible.

The silence and understanding will both deepen and eventually the
understanding will be discarded as unnecessary because you will be
free.

Ed