13 February 2019

"It seems I am drifting further from the shores of my mind. Its usual cries for explanations and ideas have little foothold as I float out beyond the broken waves of imagined intellect.
That Satsangs flow with such great connection and relevance to my life is no longer so unbelievable or impossible. Things only seem impossible if their possibility is first doubted. The background of doubt is dissolving, and so surrender to infinite possibility is emerging.
Magic is everywhere. Connection and serendipity are like natural bi-products of faithful, sincere, unwavering devotion to this Shakti Magic. It's as if I am infused with the magic of Satsang, of Shakti, energetically connected wherever I go, whatever I do, then I return to You each Sunday and it all synchronizes once again and gains momentum.
This week's Satsang shook me like thunder (thankful to Veselina for inspiring its theme). Angela's voice struck me like lightning. This storm of teachings keeps demolishing the concepts I build. I had almost started to believe in my own words. When I wrote last week of an 'upset' feeling transforming, becoming unrecognizable, and undecided, then turning into Love or bliss was a bit of bullshit.
It all appears undecided until I name it. Sliding from one recognizable feeling to another was an illusion. For every time that I return to a feeling, familiar or not, it is different in an incalculable number of ways. It is not a return to a feeling, but some constant ever-blending progression from nameless to anonymous to untitled...
I am reminded that the words and names are hollow. Inadequate to explain the inexplicable. Incapable of expressing the inexpressible. So it seems I sit in nameless feelings. Too stupid to be called stoned. Too dumb to know a rock.
I don't know where I might be, were it not for your bright star that points me back home again and again whenever I become lost. I need only look up and let go.
Thank you Ed.
Thank you...

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