Enlightenment in 30 days--email dialogue with Rob

Dear Edji,

Thank you so much for the guidance and wisdom you have written and shared on your website. For 3 years I have been searching for answers and guidance all over the internet to no avail. I was seeking an explanation for an experience I did not understand. I did not know at the time, but I had accidentally stumbled upon this self inquiry process one night in bed. The experience altered my mind forever, and left me terribly confused. I have found no one but you that could explain what had happened to me and what I needed to do.

A week a ago, I began following your instructions detailed in Hunting the I. Since then, I have been able to understand that my body and the world I had always thought existed are an illusion. I am now focused on resting as the witness of consciousness---that which itself appears to not be consciousness---if that makes any sense. I watch the waking state, sleep state (which was very bizarre the first time), and dreaming. Though in the state of deep sleep I do not seem to be watching or at least I don't remember it.

I am not sure what else to do from here except continue to focus on resting as the witness. My understanding seems to grow constantly, but is still not complete.

I never tried meditation before 3 years ago, and I've never had a teacher. After I started self inquiry last week, I began having intense pain in the center of my head and I'm not sure what it is. I can push this point of pain and pressure around my body or completely out of it, but it quickly returns. I'm not sure what to do to make it stop. Any guidance on this would be greatly appreciated.

I am immensely grateful to you, Robert, and Ramana Maharshi for sharing such clear and simple guidance. Before finding you, all I could find were teachings about oneness that I knew were shallow and not the whole truth. I thought of giving up, but something kept driving me to continue my search. I am very glad I kept going.

Gratefully Yours,

Rob

Ed: You are doing very, very well.  Keep it up. No other advice at this time.

Don't pay any attention to the pain, just observe it.

Hello Edji,

Hope you are well. I've been observing like you instructed me to. Yesterday I thought of trying something else, but it dawned on me that anything else I try is useless. Anything I do is just seeking at the level of the mind, so I just gave up and surrendered.

This morning I was rereading your “Hunting the I” and it finally sunk in.

There is no I! No person, no witness...just AMness. Its all just some mental projection. Is this correct? Is there anything I should be doing or practicing now? Is there anything I should avoid that could be problematic at this stage? Thank you for your time.

Rob

Ed:

This itself is a mental conclusion that you have accepted as true.

Find the I am sensation by feeling for it, not looking for it.

Dwell in that I Am sensation. Become intimate with it that leads to a direct experience of the life force. At the same time you become aware that you are witnessing the I Am sensation and later, consciousness.

Read Apte's Nisargadatta Gita and Nisargadatta's The Ultimate Medicine, which I find the clearest exposition of a class of advaita teachings, and the clearest explanation of the best form of self-inquiry.

Listen to sacred music, Kirtan and Bhajans.

These instructions are generic and fit all people.  Some advance quickly by staying in the I Am sensation.

Some find help or clarity of purpose by reading the Nisargadatta Gita that focuses on the one self-inquiry method that I have found to be the most effective method out of many.

Some feel the hammer blow of Nisargadatta’s clearest work, and that is enough to unfoled their spiritual destiny.

Lastly, for those with a devotional bent, and who already can observe within, I say change your direction and “feel” within, allowing many to experience the explosion of the life force, Shakti, from within

Sear Edji:

Yesterday after reading some passages from the Ultimate Medicine, I started to ponder how I had mentally come to the conclusion there was no I. As I was thinking I realized that I was trying to out-think my own thinking....by thinking. And that even this was still a thought.  Then the mind just froze...all thinking, beliefs, and concepts stopped. I didn't trust any of my perceptions and it was a bit terrifying for a moment. I immediately closed my eyes and tried to dwell in the I Am and find some stability, but it was gone! It had been there seconds before, but now it wasn't.

It seemed diffused throughout consciousness, and when I focused on it then it seemed to move...like trying to catch a cloud. Sometimes it will condense and I'll briefly have the I Am appear to be in the elbow, or nose, or in front of the body.  I also discovered I don't have a body. It's a bunch of sensations that appear random without the idea "body.” If I close my eyes, the body seems flat, almost 2 dimensional.  Sometimes it feels like my shoulder is above my ear, or that one leg is half a long as the other. It’s a lot of fun actually. I feel totally at peace, not the overwhelming bliss that I have been experiencing.

I know absolutely I'm not this body

I know I can't be consciousness because that comes and goes

I have read that I am something beyond this, 

but that's a thought and not something I am aware of having experienced.

Nothing seems real anymore...objects, people, this body, or consciousness itself. I'm typing this inside a dream. I don't know if there is a real ME beyond consciousness or not. If there is a real ME then how do I experience it not simply think it? 

Thank You,

Rob

Rob Again:

I answered my own question from yesterday.

I realized it last night, Edji. While going between, waking, sleep, dream, back to waking...I clearly noticed that which is always there. It’s very difficult to describe, but that "me" was always there I was just too distracted by the appearances of consciousness I guess. Now while awake it feels like consciousness is being "pulled" into this real me and identification with it is becoming more powerful. It feels peaceful almost like being half awake and half asleep.

Rob

Ed:

This is difficult to hold onto.  Expect it to come and go for a while.  But essentially you have got it.  It has to deepen and stabilize.

Also, you say,  you had been in bliss. Tell me how that happened.  Are you directly aware of the life force within as a separate entity, as Shakti?

Where you are now, I was 20 years ago.  But seven years ago I totally awakened to Shakti, the life force that lives and acts through our bodies and our deeper Subtle Body.  Until you have had that love affair with Shakti, if you have not already experienced it, I don’t know how stable your realization will be.  Your direct and continuous awareness of the life force is a mark of the spiritual depth necessary for full realization.

From Rob:

The first time it happened was 3 years ago. Without knowing what I did one night I sank back into the witness. It felt like I had energy running through my body, and new sensations everywhere. It felt better than anything I had ever felt before. The next morning it seemed like I could read what people were thinking, so I thought I had gone insane. I didn't like the mind reading and it disappeared a few days later. The bliss feeling slowly went away after a few weeks, and didn't return until a few weeks ago. 

This is all new to me. I have been singlemindedly focused on finding what I truely am and to know what is real and unreal. So, I tried not to focus on the bliss/energy. I thought if I did I would get distracted and lost. Currently, I'll have this sensation that I can only describe at bliss circulate throughout different areas of the body. Sometimes I'll feel very hot like I have a fever, or euphoria 100 times stronger than being intoxicated. 

I know nothing about Shakti. Not intellectually(for whatever good that's worth) nor how to control it or even if that's possible. I would love to know more!

Thank you for your guidance!

Rob