I didn't realize the immense changes that took place when my Heart opened at your's and Deeya's retreat last year. I think all my unresolved conflicts smoldered like a seething volcano -Vietnam Experiences mainly- started on an upward journey. The overflow caught me off guard and threatened my mind to the point that it wanted to escape the world.
Slowly it has settled in that the mind has lost control and most of the day to day activities are from the Heart Center. The thinking, masculine, aggressive, planning, logic, busy mind has given way to the feminine, heart felt, loving, emotional and feelings of the heart. This war by the mind because its power was challenged fostered it losing control had almost cost me this body as the fear from the mind shook me to the core, day after day.
The darkness was just Black, empty, unexpected, fearful, controlling, and full of the threat of death.
On occasion out of this hell a bliss would surface that would propel me into the highest states of happiness, pleasure, delight and ecstasy that would balance the scale.
Translated into what is happening today is: Emotion and tears that words cannot even fathom.
A Moon that is constantly radiating its white light right into my Heart Center.
A Sun that slowly creeps into my awareness and throws beams of Joy and energy right into my soul.
I hardly move this body because the beauty to behold has always been right in front of me. Its paralyzing in its virtue.
Just a pair of birds flying by, the wind caressing my face, buds on the lilac and new things every day just create a state of perfect happiness that has been there all along.
The eyes could never see this. The mind with all its logic and rationalizations couldn't see it either.
Such beauty the Heart Center is aware of. This Heart can see beauty and wonder anywhere it looks, anytime and any place.
The Mind has never met the Heart Center....even though they are both within this essence they will never be aware of each other.
But down the road I can see where the Heart and the Mind are two sides of the same coin...duality at its finest.
I want to thank you, Guru Edji and Master Deeya for providing such an opportunity that opened the gates of my heart. Words cannot begin to describe the deepest appreciation and respect I have for you both.
Deepest Love, Steve E.
P.S. Edji, Your excellent Satsangs spin the energy even faster.