30 December 2013

Letter to a seeker in pain

Dear XXX,

I have to tell you about me and other teachers who have actually self-realized.

First, their blogs are not places where you and everyone else trade ideas and opinions on an equal basis.  Such would be an academic setting, and such discussions would be only philosophy. As such, it would only be entertainment for the mind. and possibly a heart-touching if you felt someone really saw you.  Someone who has realized his or her self, knows only one thing is important: knowing who and what you are.

With any authentic Self-Realization experienced comes that self-knowledge, and when it is there, it is the most certain thing one has ever known.  After S-R there is absolute certainty of who and what you are, and as a human, a sentient being, what they are also. And you want them to have that experience also, that certitude, power and grace of authentic Self-Realization.

Such a person, only out of being gracious, would engage in philosophical arguments about the self, or spirituality.  He or she has realized it and can tell when someone else has not.

So, when you come to a teacher, you must know deep in your heart what you want: philosophy or self-realization.

At 70 years old I have no interest except loving and protecting all sentient beings, and I see most of the teachers out there have no clue; they just lead seekers astray.

So, I dialogue and do battle with some of them.  I did a bit with ZZZ who I saw had the same teachings as I but from a Kundalini perspective.  He did not see we had the same teachings, so I doubt whether we had identical awakening experiences.

Now, you say you felt no love coming from me to you.  So true; and I felt absolutely none coming from you either.  You were expressing your opinions about appropriate ways of communication--teaching me how I should be with you.  I felt no love from you at all, so why did you expect it from me?

The old, old, saying is, If you come to a guru with doubt, you will find endless reasons to doubt him (or her).  If you come with love, you will find it returned a dozen fold. In my case it was returned a hundred fold.

I really don’t know much about you except you feel fragile now and doubt yourself, because maybe you feel you trusted and submitted to one guru too many, and no matter what you did, no matter what approach you took, you ended up being hurt and not realized, and you don't want to make another mistake.  The failures hurt too much.

But your remark that the teachers ............. looked like pouncing predators, told me a lot about you and how on guard you were.

I am sorry you have been hurt so many times and disappointed.  I really am. Life sucks for a lot of people and for most sentient beings. I can feel the injury and almost a sense of hopelessness in you, and I really can’t help you at all.  It is all up to you.

You have tried Kundalini, you have tried Bhakti and surrender.  Maybe now you can try a Jnanic approach.  Get the Nisargadatta Gita by Pradeep Apte, and practice self-inquiry with loving surrender to whatever arises.

With great concern,


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