From a Reader:

Hello Ed,

I enjoyed reading your new article entitled, "My Own Method." After trying and abandoning pretty much everything else, I also fell back on chanting. I wasn't trying to accomplish anything at that point -- I just had an impulse to do it and went with it. It was pretty much the only thing that kept me sane. I don't have much of a musical background, but I still love sacred music from all traditions. Someone once said that music is the next best thing to silence, but really, chanting and silence are exactly the same thing, and there's nothing better than either one.

There's really nothing anyone can do. At some point, the heart just opens and swallows us up. For some strange reason, it does seem necessary for people to put themselves through all manner of spiritual practices and hazing rituals before this happens, but none of those things really do anything except make the story of human existence a little more entertaining. I guess if too many people followed the example of Valmiki (author of the Ramayana) and went directly from being infamous criminals to a great saints, all the yogis practicing tapas would get really pissed off and start complaining to the Big Guy. We couldn't have that.

Yep, practice is absolutely necessary, for no particular reason other than that's how this drama was written: We start as an amoeba, eventually evolve to human form, get depressed, start standing on our heads and uttering mantras, get even more depressed, give up, and find eternal peace. It's a pretty straightforward formula, really.

I noticed that you suggested putting all Robert's talks on mp3 players and playing them in the morning or whenever. I think this makes as much sense as anything and will help some people. My wife loves to listen to Robert and has asked me if I can get more of his talks from somewhere other than the Infinity Institute. If you ever want to sell me an mp3 player with Robert's talks on them that I could give to her, I will take an oath to disavow all knowledge of where they came from if the advaita police ever raid my home and ask whether I got the talks from "authorized '30 year' students®." Or, if you don't want to bother, that's fine too. Everything sorts itself out in the right way eventually.

A reader wrote:

First off, thanks for being available for questions. I recently wrote you so thanks again for the response.

Not sure where I am on any level...I am mostly self-schooled. I live alone.

Ok...I can, in a moment go into deep humility, bliss, joy and love since 2003. Sometimes drooling has occurred due to being so deep in the bliss. When I have had enough bliss (ha)...I can return to mind world. It has matured through the years.

When I sit, or spontaneously, some kind of "expansion" feeling comes into my belly heart area, heart and head. It is like a pulling back or down in the belly, contracting in the belly, heart expansion and top/sides of my head have a pulling feeling, eyes/forehead expand. Sometimes the "3rd eye?" feels like a pulling, wanting to stretch it out. This happens daily, if I allow, and sometimes spontaneously. Mind goes in the background, just being occurs. I don't know what any of this means and have been avoiding any guidance, so I can just be with it and not try to figure it out.

Since reading your site I felt it was time to ask about this. I have been at the "Who/What am I?" for 12 years and have had many awakenings including "I AM." Still caught out in the mind self but have the choice to be in the "I amness" or bliss.

Can you say where I am at, what this all sounds like to you?

I am most grateful for the guidance.

Respectfully, XXX

ED:

"Not sure where I am on any level...I am mostly self-schooled. I live alone."

Good.

"Ok...I can, in a moment go into deep humility, bliss, joy and love since 2003. Sometimes drooling has occurred due to being so deep in the bliss. When I have had enough bliss (ha)...I can return to mind world. It has matured through the years."

Then you are doing fine. You can't ask for much more, even though the process is not complete.

"When I sit, or spontaneously, some kind of "expansion" feeling comes into my belly heart area, heart and head. It is like a pulling back or down in the belly, contracting in the belly, heart expansion and top/sides of my head have a pulling feeling, eyes/forehead expand. Sometimes the "3rd eye?" feels like a pulling, wanting to stretch it out. This happens daily, if I allow, and sometimes spontaneously. Mind goes in the background, just being occurs."

This is just Kundalini often explained as an unbalanced energy process. But you are advanced enough to understand that that explanation is pure bullshit, just words. Don't worry or question it. Ignore it; just let it happen without being disturbed.

"I don't know what any of this means and have been avoiding any guidance, so I can just be with it and not try to figure it out."

You were correct. Do not try to figure it out. Just be with it.

"Since reading your site I felt it was time to ask about this. I have been at the "Who/What am I?" for 12 years and have had many awakenings including "I AM." Still caught out in the mind self but have the choice to be in the "I amness" or bliss."

"Can you say where I am at, what this all sounds like to you?"

Where you are is fine. You are doing well. Just observe, but not too passionately or with too much focus. That would just trap you more into the phenomena, not the final release.

I repeat, you are doing well.

Following the 'I'

A reader wrote:

I can rather easily get the feeling of I AM which I primarily sense in my upper chest and throat a little. The quickest way I can get to it is to follow a pleasant thought to it's source although I think I just realized a day or so ago that it works almost as well with unpleasant thoughts or fears. Anyhow, once there I can clearly sense the witness and have been working on watching the witness. It's a little tricky switching over from thinking to being and I am wondering if you have more input there. BUT mainly my question is this. The feeling of I AM feels very nice and when I "turn away" to watch the watcher I loose a lot of that nice feeling but I presume that's what I want to do?

S.

Exactly S!

However, following the false self eventually results in the real self making an appearance automatically without deliberate effort. So I suggest you continue to follow the pleasant feeling self until that burns out by itself. But you know the truth and where you are going, so don't worry about the distraction.

You can also look at someone or something and feel your emotional and tidal pull of this object, person or thing, and pay as much attention to your internal body reaction so you see/feel both at the same time.

They are not different. You will see that.

This is continuing in the feel-good way of being aware of the self as in the thorax, even though you know this is an illusion.

You have been asking solid questions regarding practice.

By the way, when you do go free, don't get stuck in that freedom as do so many and identify only with freedom.

You must always keep the welfare of others in mind and think how to teach them even when you know teaching is a lie from your newly obtained view, and "them" do not exist.

My old Zen teacher, Seung Sahn always ragged on this. When people go free, they often just rest in their sense of freedom, and become, as Robert warned, "cold fish." Then they do nothing or they become cold fish teachers with no warmth or "charisma" to carry others across.

This is not the end of your practice. You need to go beyond this. Even Ramana had difficulty with this until a second death experience in 1912.

This is important. Remember this.

Ed