26 December 2018

MY COMPLETE CONFESSION AS SPIRITUAL STUDENT AND TEACHER

ON BECOMING A VESSEL FOR GOD—MY COMPLETE COFESSION AS SPIRITUAL STUDENT AND TEACHER

This post was initiated by a very deep and long-time student who fell off the path for a time because the bliss left him and he felt frustrated and angry at some spiritual teachers.

FROM S:

“For some genetic reason, I have been pursuing enlightenment since childhood never questioning the inner drive....

I could write a book on this with thousands of experiences with hundreds of Guru's, teachers, enlightened ones, fake enlightened ones, turds, etc.

A lot of it came together recently and the conclusion was  opposite of my expectations, but interesting also.

The "Enlightened Ones" that I am familiar with have absolutely no boundaries; anything goes.  This includes deception, outright lying, sexual affairs, you name it.

Chasing married men/women all over the world for sex. Getting arrested for indecent exposure. Using and promoting use of illegal drugs (osho) to the point the Government steps in. Avoiding taxes. Guru's fighting, arguing, stabbing each other in the back and tearing each others’ teachings to shreds. Even tearing devotees to shreds when they don't 'fall in line'.  Being placed in mental institutions?? Charging exorbitant sums. they all don't do this of course.

Edji, this isn't meant to point to anyone in particular but just to cover the Guru lifestyles and examples that we have seen worldwide - which is quite poor.

Most of the Guru's are not good examples for anyone except psychopaths to admire. And from what some Gurus have said - it is not an enjoyable lifestyle at all. Many sites on the internet discuss this and they get quite negative at times in regards to 'enlightenment'.

Guru's promote Bliss but that is only part of Consciousness and falls away.  Is this promotion to suck you in by not telling that the bliss is temporary.

Can you tell me that a Guru who will fly half-way around the world to have sex with a married man is a happy and blissful girl??  What is she seeking.  Apparently the seeking had not ended with 'Enlightenment'?     No thoughts or cares of breaking up a marriage??  Morality out the window from someone supposed to be 'above reproach'.

Do Guru's really have any good reasons for teaching?  The bliss and happiness dog and pony show doesn't seem to get it. Religion and the Catholic Church are founded on total untruths and lies and with a little research this can be proven. “Maybe the sale of Enlightenment is another   Big Lie?”

MY RESPONSE TO HIS DIS-EASE:

You seem to be in a difficult place filled with hurt, frustration, disappointment.

Let me be incredibly open and honest with you.  There are paths that emphasize the absolute, nothingness, or emptiness, such as Buddhism, Advaita Vedanta and classical Tibetan Buddhism.  These are the kind of teachings where you stare at a wall for 30 years looking for self, truth, the absolute, or the unchanging self.  It took me 27 years to find my first enlightenment experience with Robert Adams using this kind of approach.  It is slow, requires great effort and focus, and the enlightenment experience itself, the world shattering quality of it, is in the end, not so very much.

Then there are the paths that emphasize perceiving, feeling, and then controlling the energies found inside and around one’s body, loving another, having complete devotion and surrender, and finding bliss.

For me this path began with falling desperately in love with a woman, a student, K., a complete romantic love with intense sexual desire.  We never sexually consummated our mutual devotional love.  But through my love for her, and her love for me.  I found God.  I found an awakening to the God within, the supreme energy of the universe, aka Shakti.  The Shakti disappeared after a while, but when another woman, E., came to me during 2017, she came with the desire to be with me forever, and I felt it.  Suddenly, the energies I had felt with K. before returned, and increased four or five fold.  The power was amazing.  The sexual desire was amazing.  The Shakti within became permanent, and extremely powerful, so that people all over began to experience it through me.

I cannot imagine now any spirituality which does not have a central focus on devotional love, surrender, and sexuality, would have much of a chance in this modern world of quick results.  Sexuality raises the most energy in the human body over most other desires, which can transform into devotional love and surrender.  It is, in surrender, total surrender, that you receive God’s grace and become divine yourself.

All her life E. has fallen in love with married men, and left that relationship so as not to harm the wife.  This happened to her three times that I know of.  Each time she was crushed.  Then she cheated on her own husband, and when she told him, he went berserk.  She became so frightened that she left him for her lover, S.  Her husband committed suicide by crashing his car into the side of a bridge.  S. psychologically has deteriorated over the years, and once was an extremely successful electronics engineer, but now lives in a garage making pennies a day.  E. now considers herself a destroyer.  She has destroyed relationships, destroyed marriages, destroyed her own life.

But this is the way of Shakti.  Shakti herself has no purity.  Shakti is ruthless and rules all of our lives.  The one who thinks he or she makes her own decisions is a fool.  We are all slaves to Shakti.  The key to happiness is to surrender to Shakti and her will, wherever she takes you, or through the stories she forces onto you. Some call this surrendering t God’s will, and that is the key: learning how to surrender.

In my own work, I discovered after E. left that woman after woman (and men) fell in love with me, became deeply devotional, and became highly sexualized until they were feeling orgasms all the time.  Eventually, the orgasms left their genitals, moved upwards into their hearts and brains, where devotional love turned to realization of Shakti within and without. One student went so far as realize God as well.  All this in a matter of months as opposed to 27 years of various forms of meditation and self-inquiry.

Sexuality allows intense energies to arise which become transformed into the perception of Shakti throughout the body and orgasms throughout the body which become nonsexual in nature, and a foretaste of the experience of God within and without.  The same holds true for men, they can become orgasmic also, starting with feeling the constant sense of sexual arousal, which turns into a full-blown bliss of God during and after the realization of God both as Brahman, and as Atman as their own personal self.

I do not do this style of energetic teaching lightly, but with full awareness of the power of the energies and emotions aroused.  The point is to arouse those energies so that people are energized out of their negative energy contractions and obsessive internal stories of self-hatred and loneliness, but all the time being aware that most of these students are like little children depending on you to grow up in a positive, supportive environment. Growing up itself is a painful experience in the best of times, but the teacher needs to be mindful that students do not yet know God within, therefore they are fragile, and he has to be gentle. But even then there is always is pain, fear, jealousy. Read Irina Tweedie’s book on her non-sexual relationship with her Sufi.

Remember, human relationships unlike mathematics and science, are very muddy.  There complicated, they are filled with emotions, human needs, desires, sexuality,  love, surrender and dominance.  These romantic relationships between humans, either heterosexual or homosexual, become the grist through which God burns you, and the guru uses to awaken Shakti in you. 

So never look down on all gurus who use sexuality to arouse Shakti as being sick, corrupted, abusers, etc., some, a few, are just very wise in the ways of awakening through energy path modalities, as opposed to the paths of Ramana, Nisargadatta or Robert Adams.  The energy teachers’ paths are incredibly quick compared to Ramana’s way, or Robert Adams’ way. Outsiders of the energy traditions can’t really judge from their perspective, whether either teacher or student are being abusive or manipulative, because abuse and manipulation can go both ways.

If you watch that yourtube short called the Three Gurus with Andrew Cohen, you will see that most gurus feel abused by their students, and they put up with them for the students’ benefits.  Sexuality used to arouse sexual energies that is then transformed into non-sexual divine surrender is nt abusive, and outsides have no concept of sx being used this way, either physical sex, or virtual romantic fantasy.

Nor is bliss temporary.  Sometimes it burns brightly, but sometimes it goes out for a year or even a few years so, but if you are constantly aware of your body, it comes back in a very short period of time when you learn how to move energies from the genitals to the heart and into your brain.  I can truly say that the Shakti in me is far more powerful now than it was during the height of my two “affairs” with K. and E.  It is like the latter left me with her energy, which allows me to move many people, just using words, the cadence of my voice, the sound of my voice to awaken love and devotion in many, many people.

But really, it is not me doing this teaching.  Shakti for some reason has chosen me to awaken others to her energy, on her behalf, in relationships that are filled with emotion, arousal, bliss, and energies, and in which I am totally committed to helping others’ lives in the world.  You see, I love life.  I love the spirit in each sentient being, and I bow to that spirit desiring only to help each person to awaken to their spiritual identity.

ON BECOMING A VESSEL FOR GOD:

Mostly, one who is a teacher has to help students get out of negative contractions by providing unconditional support, love, and by directly infusing energies into them so that they can start moving again.

It is picking broken people off of the ground, helping them stand up, giving them a break from hell.  After a while, then they can regain a true path towards opening everything in them, all the love they can possibly feel, all the energies they can feel and control.

TWO FUNDAMENTAL TRUTHS:

You help people realize two fundamental "truths:"  they are not their bodies, but spirit.  I do not use the term consciousness or awareness, as they are too abstract.  They are spirit.  Help them find that they are this life-spirit within their bodies and not just a mechanical mind-body. They have to be able to perceive themselves as spiritual being living in and through their bodies, which are merely vessels and sensors for spirit.

The other truth is that this spirit is divine; it is the same "substance" or essence that God is.  Each individual, nay, each separate sentient being are incarnations of the divinity, with God living inside and around them, and they can directly communicate with Him/Her at all times.  But primarily they must feel and see themselves as spiritual beings.

THE PATH TOWARDS REALIZING THOSE TRUTHS AND ALL OTHERS:

One has to love others, and if you have a guru or lover, love them with all your capability to love.  Worship them.  Surrender to them.  Give yourself away in total submission.  When you can do that, you are empty enough so that God comes into you and shows you Her form, gives Her grace and forgiveness, and leads you to the unending white/blue light of divinity that resides in all people.

Your total attention has to be on your Beloved, loving them, worshiping them, surrendering to them.  I know, Westerners think this is a terrible idea because you can be used or destroyed by an abuser.  This is a common idea.

But this does not happen to someone capable of total surrender, for they are surrounded and guided by God to be at the right place and at the right time, in the right situation. They do total surrender because they feel the light and grace of God guiding and comforting them every moment.  Without this sense of golden grace and light surrounding own's beingness, total surrender is fraught with risk.  But when God walks with you, total surrender is the easiest thing in the world to do.  Your whole life at that point becomes an incredible drive to surrender.

When God enters your life, all things are possible--no, all things are incredibly easy!  Getting God's grace though is difficult.  In my case, it came through loving others as completely as I thought possible, and this ability to love just kept deepening the more I did it.  And the type of love I felt was not the usual Christian concept of compassionate, motherly love, because that comes much later after one feels totally loved for one's own self as a person, by another, and by God.  The love that brought me to God was an ecstatic, romantic and erotic love filled with desire and sexual arousal that was never once consummated physically.

This kind of love, total romantic submersion into the story of complete romantic submission, so completely awakens the body, the mind, your heart, and the endless energies within--Shakti, through whom all things are made possible.  This is Tantra, true Tantra, to awaken the body completely, to use sexual desire, all other desires, romantic imagery to become completely alive and awaken thus to God's love after the aroused sexuality become suffused throughout one's body.  Then the sexual lust transmutes into the shining of God within.

After realization of God through love, devotion, and surrender, and an awakening to a life of the spirit, all other truths begin to unfold for you, from a constant direct awareness of the empty, void nature of all experience, as well as the constant changing of all experiences, with no permanence, and that the whole show arises from nothingness and submerges in the end to nothingness.  This nothingness is different from the Void, or emptiness, which is still an experience. Nothingness is the ending of experiencing and of the mind, but not necessarily an end to existence.


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