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Further Dialogues With Steve

 Ed: 

The thing is, most people equate awakening or self realization with Shakti kinds of awakenings, and it’s hard to accept nothingness awakenings. 

Steve:

Edji, I probably heard it dozens of times but until it happens I  didn't realize the difference in Awakenings. 

With you identifying them I could go back and read what Steve  wrote and watch the gradual development take place.  

Being the Self with the awareness of Consciousness as being totally separate is a recognition seared into 'me'. A peace so deep nothing can compare.

Also those truly blissful awakenings years ago are so precious, a unification with everything, where time stops and disappears.

Oh Lord I humbly bow down and kiss your feet!

Something else is happening during meditation. It is like a channel runs from the base chakra to top of the skull. The last few days the powerful energy fills up that channel slowly from the bottom to the top and repeats itself dozens of times in the early AM.

That channel is expanding out, like a tube enlarging and like it has its own mind. It won't be speeded up or slowed down it is doing this on its own. 

It just climbs up and puts that area in a deep bliss...especially the Heart Center and keeps going to the top of the skull....like it eventually is going to penetrate and go out of the head,

Never read or heard about this so if ya have some knowledge let me know as I feel any identity left of Steve will vanish. 

Ed:

Yes, exactly the same happened to me long ago for a long time.  But  these go away and change, gradually replaced by deep peace and solitude.

S.   I don't feel like a steve or even wanting a name. This can't be called anything.

 What follows is an email dialogue between Steve Eckert and I regarding Steve's increasing awareness that he is neither his body nor his consciousness. His experience described here is almost identical to my own that happened while studying with Robert Adams in 1995. Only with me, the complete experience unfolded in amtter of a few hours while here, with Steve, The time sequence is taking a few weeks.

 

I met Steve eight years ago when he took a workshop led by Deeya Gair and I in the North Valley of Los Angeles. What's memorable about my meeting with him was the tears of devotion he had in his eyes when I spoke to face-to-face. That devotion has never left Steve. Beginning five or six years ago Steve began emailing me wuth descriptions of very deep Shakti experiences, of love, like, and power, many of which I posted to my blog or my Facebook page.

 

Recently though, his described experiences began changing more closely approximating both the experiences and understandings conveyed by Ramana Maharishi, Nisargadatta, and Robert Adams as well as myself.

 

I think Steve's unfolding in the very careful way he describes what is happening to him can begin to give to some students of self-study, an idea of what they are shooting for in terms of self-discovery, rather than many of the dead-end branches that present themselves to the seeker along the way.

 

Note  that I have not included many of my responses to his emails, as they are not important to his description of his unfolding.

 

Ed Muzika, September 21, 2021

 

PART I: JULY 23 THROUGH August

 

July 23, 2021

 

Dearest Master,   best 'thoughts' to you.

 

I been sitting on the couch just looking outside at all the different  birds and animals we feed.

 

Realizing that it's just a movie and asking 'who is watching the movie?'

 

It's all just Consciousness and is non-existent. 

 

The solid  World of 3 years ago is gone and transformed into a transparent film today that has lost all its meaning. 

And the Steve that sat in Satsang with Edji and Deeya in 2013 is just a non-existent shadow.

 

Awareness  of  some form appears to be present if so it is without identity. 

 

Many rooms in the Mansion but this is the weirdest. 

 

How are you Edji and where are you in this darkness? 

 

Your devotees, steve

 

JULY 24, 21

 

Edji, you put me into the Heart Center with music.

 I'm sailing on the fabric of nothingness through time that is from an non-existent imagination 

 

Such a journey 

Who's to enjoy it?

Untethered 

Released

An imagination that is non-existent 

No ground, no gravity

Something floating in the darkness 

 

Sitting on the couch with Mia . 

But she turns onto a mirage. So no one is on a couch , yet 2 humans are sitting  here.

 

Funny place to exist

Funny place to non-exist

 

Forever,  steve

 

July 24, 21

Edji, the answer...happen to stumble upon your writing The Portal.

 

Yes it's been some trip so far somehow being guided to various rooms in this Mansion.  But now I  understand that this one is Void, absolute emptiness and darkness.  Life is only a fabric blowing in the wind. No solid ground on which to stand, reality is just a reflection in a puddle of muddy water, people are just electronic static moving at random, sounds are squeezed out of the mist. Who the hell am I  besides a thin dust cloud? The Earth itself has changed to one of fear and loathing and death.

 

The entire Void is so thick with Darkness,  nothing is alive. Just out of control and descending deeper and deeper.  All hope has burnt-out.  No control whatsoever.  Absolute Nothingness prevails. 

Steve E.

 

August 3, 21

 

Edji, that light radiating out of my chest (projector showing Consciousness on your own individual  screen)is my view of the World. 

Placed there from infancy, elementary s, high s, college, military etc etc.

 

All mine to watch and get involved with but a very distorted view that I could have wasted a lifetime trying to change.

 

I call it 'Lost in Consciousness'. Ever consuming humans precious time in this World.

 

Actually  ever since childhood I  have been taking it apart. My out of body experience at 5 years old taught me to regulate the building of Consciousness and not take this life so seriously.   Plus what adults say is only their belief system. 

 

Guess it has all been worth it as nothing important exists in Consciousness. 

 

Everyone has the opportunity to play in Consciousness but not everyone can see through it and realize it is just a movie  playing and sucking them in.

 

Steve

 

August 4, 21

 

Hi Edji, well my Consciousness games are all played out or tossed out. 

 

Interest in the World and its surroundings have petered to zero. 

So this last year it happened that getting psa checks every 6 months,  colonoscopys and any other tests done is over and done with. 

 

Done doing anything  preventative and prolonging the body and its health factor.

 

Just don't require a body anymore! 

Very peaceful and blissful and Void.

steve

 

August 4, 21

Strange I  feel very strongly that I am a part of you and we are somehow  a form of I  don't know, hard to explain, (like a sparkling flowing energy ) not a Consciousness type energy at all and not even on Earth.   Not tuned into any Consciousness  here!

 

Earth does not exist wherever we are. The complete Cosmos might be gone too...nothingness, ah ah Void.

 

'Other's  as  'energy forms'  are around here also. We are definitely not alone. 

Words don't even touch where we are at ...the peace is unexplainable.  Even this imaginary body sitting on the couch can feel it.

 

steve

 

Ed

 

Yesss!

 

Steve

 

How long you have  been here Edji?

 

Ed

 

Long time.

 

August 5, 21

 

Yes Yes Yes.   this body is a vessel of sparkling Love.  

The World seems to be far away now and all of its drama gone.  

A Peace so deep it has no boundaries. 

I bow to you Master Edji.

 

Steve

 

Ed      August 5, 21

Do you see why I fought for you to leave Trump and the baby eater fiction behind?  That stuff is false. Even the world is false. God dwells within; we just have to look within and forget about that which is without. And love yourself with all your heart. It happened to me because I loved Janet, but I realized I was love, and that love of Janet became love of self also. Love of the self in another can lead to love of self in one’s on cell.

On Wednesday, August 4,  Steve  wrote:

A Flickering light way down in the bottom of the dark canyon

 

Lifetimes spent treading pathways made by those before me.

 

Foul and danger, distractions prevalent, tripping and falling.

What a heavy cross to carry.  

But now lingering within reach the flickering light calling.

Crawling closer the light slowly dissolving this trap of a body.

Gone, vanished, sucked in to a blissful  heaven for eternity...well worth the travels. 

Thank you traveler's before me and I  bow to Master Edji who signaled that the Void was right there in front.

steve

 

August 6, 21

 

Date: Friday, August 6, 2021
Subject: Crazy
To: Edward Muzika

I just want to laugh and laugh.

 

Don't know exactly what happened and don't  give a damn. 

I just start laughing looking around at the perfect Manifestations of the Self.

 

In the car dealership getting the Honda looked at I  just wanted to get on my knees , like I  do at home, and bow to the Self.  

It was All me in that dealership,  I  was the furniture,  the soda, the new vehicles and also the people  sitting in the waiting room. 

 

What the fuck is happening ..no one cares.

Time and space are nonexistent. 

I AM

 

Love ya, steve

 

 

August 8, 21

 

(Responding to my August 5 email about his  recent Trump Anon obsession)

 

Date: Sunday, August 8, 2021
To: Ed Muzika

Ha ha ha.....ha ha..o o o yea.

 

I sure got pulled in...but.. think I  needed that to Wake Up even deeper. 

 

The last vestige of the World flushed. Trump and all the antics off to the sewer.

 

I needed you to jump on this Mind and pop that last fart out! 

And when it happened I was in a different  existence. 

 

It's like since that original Awakening newer/other doors are opening unexpectedly.  

 

Going so so deep into death and finding the brilliance of salvation in the deepest pit of despair. 

 

I was sitting on the porch one day last year and something was observing the railing and it wasn't steve.

 

The last couple of weeks totally giving up the body and mind and any attachments and favoring death ...opened the Eternal Heart Center  and there it was The Source-The Self, pure Love Of The Self.

Oh how could I  ever have missed it. Right inside the Heart Center. 

 

I can go there whenever and wherever I AM.  More and more.

 

Ya know all the happenings usually are instigated when I converse with you Edji.

 

I think if you and I went out somewhere to eat I would just start acting insane in public dancing and singing around your chair pouring water on your head and baptizing you.  I wouldn't be able to restraint myself.

 

An Owl showed up 2 weeks ago and stared at Mia and I  for a good 15 minutes.....from my time spent with the Ojibwa I knew something big was about to happen. 

 

Take care Self,  I AM

 

August 8, 2021

 

Edji, 

 

I can see Just the experience of the Source of Creation within and focusing on that ....is extremely powerful. 

 

Kind of giving up the meditation been doing since your Satsang in 2013 . 

 

Instead seeing the Self inside,  

pure Love.

 

Steve

 

August 9, 21

 

Then after I baptized you in the restaurant I would remove your sandals and wash your feet with camomile tea. Then kiss them.

 

steve

 

Date: Monday, August 9, 2021
Subject: tick tock
To: Edward Muzika <satsang.online@gmail.com>

Edji,  ya know all these accumulations, body and mind are so easy to see now not only in the development of steve but also in others.  The pain these acquisitions cause is unbelievable.

 

And if for a second I mention attachments (rarely do that) the top popps off and it is an argument. So I don't interfer with anyone except my wife....we go at it and then laugh about it.

 

She plays Robert's Satsangs for the cats, caterpilars, moths, wasps, raccoons, stray cats, birds....anything moving.  We have 11 cats now plus lots of insects, wasp nest between our inner and outer door (for 3 years now). once in a while a wasp will come into the house and fly around and maybe bump into our head and take off.

 

Something strange about all this life....they are much like humans. 

 

They communicate with us, mia repairs the wasp nest and feeds them honey when it rains cause they can't get food in a storm. 

 

I guess this is the only thing interesting for me in the World. Plus the Mexican neighbor lady had a baby and she spends every minute playing with that baby. That is good to watch.

 

Have not watched TV in 17 years , no radio or newspaper and stopped any attention to politics and all that bullshit....what a distraction. Watch your Satsangs on YouTube.

 

Its a whole new existence watching and residing in the Heart Center.  Perfectly calm and peaceful, no fear, no worries just paying attention.

 

Thank you for all your knowledge and service not only to me but all your devotees.

 

Steve

 

Date: Wednesday, August 11, 2021
To: Edward Muzika

Yes, I  noticed that.

These tendencies developed since childhood, 

memory patterns , cyclical,  physical and mental actions

have created reoccurring patterns..a trap. 

Disabling software steve has written...useless today.

 

I'm going over rewriting this mess and  'The Ultimate Medicine' will help changing the software.

 

Thank you for the recommendation! 

s

 

Date: Friday, August 13, 2021
Subject: staying here
To: Edward Muzika

Hi Edji,    Ya know there is nothing holding me here.

 

I have seen all the beautiful manifestation that the projector shines. It means nothing. 

 

Is there anything that holds you here?

 

Guess my desire to stay has been fading away fast.

 

I know there is a technique to prepare to exit the body. 

 

 Sadhguru's wife exited at a Satsang and even had a 7 year old daughter...she wanted to go.

 

Nisargadatta is right on!

 

Steve

 

On Saturday, August 14, 2021, s alan  wrote:

 

Edji, was wondering if you explored exiting the body without injuring it?

 

Building up energies,  removing any rings or jewelry and exiting through the head (the same way we came into the body).

 

Don't think you done any Satsangs on it.

S

 

August 15, 21

 

I am not a yogi.  They do shit like that.