Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

TO ME:



Hi Ed. You know that experience I had last e-mail of sliding inward, feeling I had found the I am to focus on! Well, I tried repeating the experience, and I couldn't - so I had assumed I had lost it! So I was back at the drawing board, testing what I had done. You see when I would practice, to me being, was just that, not someone being, just sitting, no mind movement, whatever the experience that was left, to me was being. Now this might have been the sensation of the body. So I said to myself why don't I just move back and include this "feeling of me" that is always there. Then I remembered a few experiences I had, when I had become conscious between sleep and awakening. Then, I was the "feeling of me" the existence part was a given - I knew I was, I just didn't know who I was, no life story! So in comparison, this feeling is exactly the same as " the feeling of me" I have found through testing. It is the same same "feeling of me" before any add-ons like my name my life story etc. It is kind of embarassing, in that this "feeling of me" was right under my nose all the time! So I tested it, and compared it to the "being feeling" I used to focus on - and I found the feeling of me would give me the inner feeling (not the slipping feeling yet!), but much more of an effect than the "being feeling". Also you said the "I feeling", and the "I am feeling" of Nisargadatta were both the Ego - which is our target - right? 

I also remember, during the sliding inward, that I was oscillating back in forth between I and being (what I thought was the I am). So the "I feeling" could have been responsible for the sliding inward.

Have I finally got it with this "I feeling" ? Do you think , that what I thought was the I am was actually the body's presence and not the presence of the I. I think I got it this time Ed, I just need your confirmation. Thanks Ed.
  

Regards,
  
T.


RESPONSE:


T.


When practicing the I Am meditation, don't jump to conclusions.


Your experiences will change over time, the more you practice and develop discrimination.


There are many false I's, like the ego, or the knot where consciousness appears attached to the body in the heart area.


So don't ask about correct phenomena or incorrect. Just stay with the feeling/sensation that feels most like you NOW, and do that all the time. 


Many "I Am" posers will arise. Stay with each until the real, unchanging subject is revealed.


Ed


TO ME:




This is a perfect approach "just stay with the feeling/sensation that feels most like you Now, and do that all the time, stay with each until the real , unchanging subject is revealed". 


Now I feel I have the proper approach to practice. Thanks very much Ed, this makes a great deal of sense to me now.

 Regards,
  
T.